Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many young women are involved in crimes today. Why? What measures should we take to solve the problem?

Many young women are involved in crimes today. Why? What measures should we take to solve the problem? alOw7
The number of young women who commit various crimes is on the rise in recent years, which has been a distressing problem all over the world. I would like to analyze the causes and try to bring up some feasible solutions. On the one hand, there are many exterior contributors that drag an innocent person to the abyss of crimes, and poverty is the root cause, the same to young female criminals. Owing to the destitution, poor young women can not afford the pricey daily necessities, thus they are likely to be involved in crimes to subsist. For instance, numerous thefts and robberies are committed by some young girls who have no other ways to feed their hungry family members or save a dying loved one in great need of an expensive operation. Besides, another factor is that some young women are forced to commit sins like drug dealing. Those vulnerable convicts are victims themselves, for they are not strong enough to defend themselves when faced with threats such as blackmailing. Confronted with the severity of the problem, joint efforts are necessities. Governments are obliged to eliminate poverty by reducing taxes and enacting welfare policies for those in economic need. Therefore, no more sorrowful losses would result from impoverishment. In addition, more protection for young ladies is highly advocated by ensuring greater gender equality, as full respect will wipe outrage and crimes. As a result, women would not be the potential targets of those criminals taking advantage of others. In conclusion, vanquishing crimes has always been the ultimate goal of any society. To diminish the quantity of young female convicts, governments are obliged to deplete poverty and popularize gender equality to protect those vulnerable victims from being forced to be involved in crimes
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who commit various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is on the rise in recent years, which has been a distressing problem all over the world. I would like to analyze the causes and try to bring up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exterior contributors that drag an innocent person to the abyss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and poverty is the root cause, the same to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
female criminals. Owing to the destitution, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not afford the pricey daily necessities,
thus
they are likely to
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to subsist.
For instance
, numerous thefts and robberies
are committed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
girls who have no other ways to feed their hungry family members or save a dying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one in great need of an expensive operation.
Besides
, another factor is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are forced
to commit sins like drug dealing. Those vulnerable convicts are victims themselves, for they are not strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to defend themselves when faced with threats such as blackmailing.

Confronted with the severity of the problem, joint efforts are necessities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
are obliged
to eliminate poverty by reducing taxes and enacting welfare policies for those in economic need.
Therefore
, no more sorrowful losses would result from impoverishment.
In addition
, more protection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ladies is
highly
advocated by ensuring greater gender equality, as full respect will wipe outrage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
would not be the potential targets of those criminals taking advantage of others.

In conclusion
, vanquishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
has always been the ultimate goal of any society. To diminish the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
female convicts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are obliged
to deplete poverty and popularize gender equality to protect those vulnerable victims from
being forced
to
be involved
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
crimes
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many young women are involved in crimes today. Why? What measures should we take to solve the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    How to achieve academic success in High School.
    Every student wants to achieve high academic results. But very few people can achieve that. Teenagers often have the mindset that getting good grades is a very difficult thing, there must be some secret to do it. But actually, it's an extremely simple thing that anyone can do. Here are some ways tha...
  • 5band
    enthusiastic for incredible island and inbound tourism with an affordable price
    I would like to share my own experience for those who are enthusiastic for incredible island and inbound tourism with an affordable price. Last year I went to the Boat-Island which is situated in southern Myanmar. The trip lasted for 3 days and the accommodation was eco-friendly lodge with all-inclu...
  • 6band
    honesty is the best policy. do you agree or disagree
    It is believed that being honest with other people is the best policy. Although this notion is justifiable to some extent, I would argue that we need to avoid telling the truth sometimes. It is understandable why some people advocate being honest. One rationale is that speaking the truth can lead to...
  • 5band
    write about joining the club
    I really love to cook so I plan to join the cooking club. I want to know how to cook different dishes and the flavors combined by everyday ingredients. Cook delicious dishes for family and friends. Being able to make my own birthday cakes and cook family meals I would love to have the school organiz...
  • 5.5band
    writing ielts task 2 the gap between the rich and the poor
    There no doubt that the developing of economic together with high living standard leading to wealth gap between the rich and the poor. These becoming so evidence. Here is a well-known phenomenon in long time. It might induce variety of consequences such as unrest society. In my perspective, the ori...
  • 6band
    Does foreign aid help donor countries more than the recipients?
    For many years, rich countries have been helping countries that are not able to sustain their population’s needs and requirements and offering them social or economical aid. However, while the aid program is intended to help the development of the country in need, there is a public opinion that fore...