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Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history.

Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history. aD0X
Due to globalisation, many foreign pop musicians and celebrities are famous worldwide. As a result, young people mostly follow them. However, some argue that youngsters are not fond of our history and they have not interested in to know about freedom fighters. This essay will discuss both views and give their opinion. To begin with, in the technical era, young people mostly devoted themselves to their hobbies such as listen to music, watch movies and so on. Thus, they have a dense interest towards international pop singers and movie stars. because they entertain youth via sing different type of songs and act like a real hero. secondly, these celebrities are very popular among the youngster and they also become a role model for them. In addition, they live in the glamour world and they have a lot of fans following for their stylish looks, living a luxurious lifestyle and they are trend settles so youth follow their footsteps. Eventually, international celebrities are popular because of Paparazzi and technology. every day they are seen at every home on television so people never forget their faces in their life. They are public figures and they host many shows like KBC and coffee with Karan that way they are popular stars globally. On the other hand, the teenager is not interested in our history. They think it is useless because the past is not related to the present. moreover, students, who study science and biology subjects have not the required knowledge of history. Furthermore, some students are studying subjects like arts and literature they interested in history. Besides, the juvenile is not interested in historical person because our history has a plethora of freedom fighters show they cannot remember all of them. In conclusion, history illustrates our past but sometimes it is boring for young people. However, Juvenile mostly admire international celebrities and pop singers because they provide entertainment to them.
Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign pop musicians and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
worldwide.
As a result
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
follow them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that youngsters are not fond of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
they have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in to know about freedom fighters. This essay will discuss both views and give their opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the technical era, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
devoted themselves to their hobbies such as listen to music,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, they have a dense interest towards international pop singers and movie stars.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
they entertain youth via sing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of songs and act like a real hero.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngster and
they
also
become a role model for them.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the glamour
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fans following for their stylish looks, living a luxurious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they are trend settles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
youth follow their footsteps.

Eventually
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of Paparazzi and technology.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
day they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at every home on television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never forget their faces in their life. They are public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
figures and
they host
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
KBC
and coffee with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karan
that way they are popular stars globally.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is useless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the past is not related to the present.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, students, who study science and biology subjects have not the required knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are studying subjects like arts and literature they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Besides
, the juvenile is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in historical person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has a plethora of freedom fighters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
they cannot remember all of them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
illustrates our past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is boring for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, Juvenile
mostly
admire international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and pop singers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide entertainment to them.
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IELTS essay Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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