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Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries What are the causes Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history v.4

Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries What are the causes Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history v. 4
Nowadays, the large proportion of the youth put celebrities' life under the microscope and thus, are more aware of them, meanwhile, know nothing about famous people in the history of their culture. Although there is a specific root cause behind this issue, effective policies can be adopted to remedy the situation. The most axiomatic reason why youngsters are less aware of reputed individuals in their culture is rooted in the fact that technology development in related to the internet, smart-phones and personal computers lead to the increased exposure the broadcast information through the media. Since the vast majority of the media set up in such a way to boost the stockholders' revenue, cover the news and information by which reap their benefits including an advertisement for the latest films on the cinema or concerts. A good illustration of this is clearly delineated by HBO channel which firmly endorses the viewpoint that they just focus on their interests by showing movies and advertising irrespective of other aspects of their influence. This in turn affects the youth who are most widely audiences and are bound to mould their thoughts and interest toward fleeting excitement while keep away from the more important topic such as their history. There are, however, some viable solution to tackle this new phenomenon. One step would be making compulsory introducing famous people between broadcasting film rather than advertising products to show the youth how much their culture is important. This is mainly because most of the young people have not caught sight of the groundbreaking achievement in their country by famous people. Another police should put into effect is to encourage competitiveness among the youth in order to secure job prospects instead of religious background which is a really common trend in the Islamic countries like Iran for employment. This is a contributing factor to develop a sense of national identity and keep our famous people alive. To conclude, placing a great emphasis on films and music by the media is a potential culprit to lessen the awareness of famous people in the country and responsible entities should bring in a whole range of measures such as motivating youngsters and enforcing the media to show historical program.
Nowadays, the large proportion of the
youth
put
celebrities&
#039; life under the microscope and
thus
, are more aware of them, meanwhile, know nothing about
famous
people
in the history of their culture. Although there is a specific root cause behind this issue, effective policies can
be adopted
to remedy the situation.

The most axiomatic reason why youngsters are less aware of reputed individuals in their culture
is rooted
in the fact that technology development in related to the internet, smart-phones and personal computers lead to the increased exposure the broadcast information through the
media
. Since the vast majority of the
media
set up in such a way to boost the
stockholders&
#039; revenue, cover the news and information by which reap their benefits including an advertisement for the latest films on the cinema or concerts. A
good
illustration of this is
clearly
delineated by HBO channel which
firmly
endorses the viewpoint that they
just
focus on their interests by showing movies and advertising irrespective of other aspects of their influence. This in turn affects the
youth
who are most
widely
audiences and
are bound
to
mould
their thoughts and interest toward fleeting excitement while
keep
away from the more
important
topic such as their history.

There are,
however
,
some
viable solution to tackle this new phenomenon. One step would be making compulsory introducing
famous
people
between broadcasting film
rather
than advertising products to
show
the
youth
how much their culture is
important
. This is
mainly
because
most of the young
people
have not caught sight of the groundbreaking achievement in their country by
famous
people
. Another police should put into effect is to encourage competitiveness among the
youth
in order to secure job prospects
instead
of religious background which is a
really
common trend in the Islamic countries like Iran for employment. This is a contributing factor to develop a sense of national identity and
keep
our
famous
people
alive.

To conclude
, placing a great emphasis on films and music by the
media
is a potential culprit to lessen the awareness of
famous
people
in the country and responsible entities should bring in a whole range of measures such as motivating youngsters and enforcing the
media
to
show
historical program.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries What are the causes Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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