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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? kYYgO
Travelling for explore world is now becoming a trend in youth. It is often believed that majority of pupils prefer to take a gap between the finishing of the school and starting their college and university on account of they want to travel world and get experience. I also agree with this and opined that it is a good idea. My inclination is elaborated further. To embark with, people often go for the gap year and they like it. It has more benefits than wastages. First and foremost one is that we can explore the world and experience some new things which is not do before. We can understand others opinion as well. Thus, it is good idea to take a break. People may know other culture, custom, and thier local language. They can easily get into others locality which is quite good. Furthermore, there are some financial problems in life. Therefore, taking a break is quintessential for them who are not able to pay fees for further education. So, if they are taking a break then definitely they earn some money which is stimulate in his/her education.
Travelling for explore world is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming a trend in youth. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that majority of pupils prefer to take a gap between the finishing of the school and starting their college and university on account of they want to travel world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and opined that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. My inclination
is elaborated
further
.

To embark with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go for the gap
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
they like it. It has more benefits than
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastages
.
First
and foremost one is that we can explore the world and experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new things which is not
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. We can understand others opinion
as well
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to take a break.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may know other culture, custom, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
local language. They can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into others locality which is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial problems in life.
Therefore
, taking a break is quintessential for them who are not able to pay fees for
further
education.
“So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, if
they are taking a break then definitely they earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money which is
Consider using a past participle here: "stimulated".
stimulate
in his/her education.

IELTS essay Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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