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Many products that people buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

People tend to buy many items from other nations, increasing culture communication between those nations. However, this has the effect of reducing local business income, leading to rise the unemployment rate in a country. Initially, one way to communicate between countries can be established with more and more people shopping for foreign products, showing interest in those countries. This is because the influence of the growing era making people want to try to purchase the product being advertised. For instance, 85% of young people in Indonesia watch YouTube, and this platform usually has advertisements, like typical foods from South Korea, having impact on high curiosity about these foods. Nonetheless, I believe that more curiosity towards the own products is better than the foreign goods, being to support each other's local items so that local items can go international. On the other hand, the inclusion of local businesses will decrease if many people shop for their needs from foreign products, resulting an increase unemployment because a plethora of people shop for those products so that a number of local businesses are closed. According to study of UNIMED, there are 250 local businesses closed and resulted in a rise of around 2800 unemployments in Indonesia because people with high income are more interested in buying foreign products, and they feel prestigious if they buy those. Therefore, I believe that local products are no less competitive than the ones, and people should help each other in developing their country's products. In conclusion, buying goods from other countries will be the advantages to increase culture communication, while this can give an impact on local income. Where possible, if this continuously runs, there will be a decline in country’s economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
items from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations, increasing culture communication between those nations.
However
, this has the effect of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
income, leading to rise the unemployment rate in a country.

Initially
, one way to communicate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
be established
with more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shopping for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, showing interest in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the influence of the growing era making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
being advertised
.
For instance
, 85% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Indonesia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
YouTube, and this platform
usually
has advertisements, like typical foods from South Korea, having impact on high curiosity about these foods. Nonetheless, I believe that more curiosity towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, being to support each other's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items can go international.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will decrease if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop for their needs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, resulting an increase unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are closed
. According to study of
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNIMED
, there are 250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
closed and resulted in a rise of around 2800
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployments
in Indonesia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with high income are more interested in buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and they feel prestigious if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are no less competitive than the ones, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in developing their country's products.

In conclusion
, buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be the advantages to increase culture communication, while this can give an impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
income. Where possible, if this
continuously
runs, there will be a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
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IELTS essay Many products that people buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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