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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", As it's known that work is an important part of our life and everyone has to keep themselves busy in some way. For some people work brings pleasure and they prioritize it more than anything else. Being active is a positive attitutude but not at the cost of the fun, which is sometimes necessary for our body. In this essay I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of work. Firstly, some people think that working more hours of a day will help them to boost their career and achieve promotion. For many people the main objective of their life is to devote the time for work because it may help them to acquire higher postion in the company. This attitude may lead to poor work-life balance. Secondly, working long hours can help people make good money which is also chief necessity of life. "Money can buy everyrhing", this is a motto of life of every indiviual, so they spend most of their time in an effort to make more money, therefore they do not waste their time in leisure activities. As we say, every coin has two sides, so does the advantages, it is not possible to gain everything in life. Everything has a negetive aspect, however it is beneficial to recognise its effect. For example, when people work for more hours than they are suppose to then this has deleterious effect on thier health such as, stress and sleeplessness which in turn has tremendous effect on our body functioning. On the other hand, working overtime can also decrease work productivity, hence some countries have stringent policies for work-life balance, so that their is an improvement in productivity and also on the mental health of the person. In conclusion, people who work long hours can achieve their goal but do not have the pleasure to enjoy the happiness of life which he could find by spending time with his family or friends. On the contrary it also reduces a person's output.
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and no play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Jack a dull boy
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
, As it's known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves busy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
brings
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pleasure and
they prioritize it more than anything else. Being active is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
attitutude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the cost of the fun, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
necessary for our body. In this essay I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of work.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of a day will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to boost their career and achieve promotion. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the main objective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is to devote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to acquire higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
postion
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This attitude may lead to poor work-life balance.

Secondly
, working long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money which is
also
chief necessity of life.

Use a smart opening quote here.
"
Money can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyrhing
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
, this is a motto of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of every
Possible spelling mistake found.
indiviual
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money,
therefore
they do not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in leisure activities.

As we say, every coin has two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the advantages, it is not possible to gain everything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Everything has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
aspect,
however
it is beneficial to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘recognise’ is British English.
recognise
its effect.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
than they are
Consider using either the past participle “supposed” or the present participle “supposing” here.
suppose
to then this has deleterious effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
health such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and sleeplessness which in turn has tremendous effect on our body functioning.

On the other hand
, working overtime can
also
decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity,
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have stringent policies for work-life balance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Did you mean “there”?
their
is an improvement in productivity and
also
on the mental health of the person.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can achieve their goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not have the pleasure to enjoy the happiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which he could find by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with his family or friends.
On the contrary
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
a person's output.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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