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Some people say that advertising and encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Are there say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Some people say that advertising makes people buy unnecessary things, and others discuss that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. I would like to agree with the second version which has benefited me in recent times as given below. In order to address problem in an effective way we should understand where these problems stem from. There are a lot of products the world so we want to buy everything and really see different ads on TV every day. In my opinion not All ads are necessary for us. Frequently we use the internet for by many things and enquring friends about products for which we are looking for. So in my opinion the Google is better than TV advertisement. Due to this current pandemic situation we all are stadying from home and it has became become difficult for all students. At the moment we needed educational tovares. At the moment I use an internet which advertisement. In my view it was a very comfortable and interesting it was great help for me to have that product product Happined due to that advertisement. In conclusion that advertise is very important of Our Lives. Becouse it give them alots of New which many things about products. Then the people will be informed about all things. Sold advertising is very significant for our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
discuss that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second version which has benefited me in recent times as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below. In order to address problem
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “effectively” to avoid wordiness.
in an effective way
we should understand where these problems stem from. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything and
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ads on TV every day. In my opinion not All ads are necessary for us.
Frequently
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enquring
friends about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for which we are looking for.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion the Google is better than TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Due to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic situation we all are
Possible spelling mistake found.
stadying
from
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
it has
Use past participle here: “become”.
became
become difficult for all students. At the moment we needed educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
tovares
. At the moment I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an internet which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. In my view it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable and interesting it was great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for me to have that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
Possible spelling mistake found.
Happined
due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
In conclusion
that advertise is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Becouse
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “gives”.
give
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
alots
of New which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be informed
about all things. Sold advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for our life.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising and encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Are there say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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