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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In this fast-paced world, everyone is trying to fulfill their dreams and achieve bigger career goals. As result, they end up working extra time and diminishing quality time for themselves. However, the disadvantages of this approach outweigh its advantages. I intent to discuss the pros and cons in the below paragraphs. Firstly, with society emphasizing on being career-oriented and getting a good income, more and more people are burning the midnight oil to build their status. Many individuals take up part-time jobs to fulfill their family needs or to become financially independent. For instance, most teachers apart from teaching at schools which offer them a mediocre salary, also work at coaching classes for additional income. On the other hand, working for long hours is detrimental to physical and social well-being. Any person who is working constantly on the computer is prone to health issues like eye strain, lower back, and spine problems. Additionally, if someone who is employed for over twelve to sixteen hours will eventually spend less time with their loved ones and will deteriorate their communal relationships. An illustration of this can be seen among migrants who move to the city for work, end up sacrificing their personal lives. To recapitulate, although it is vital to have higher career goals and earn a decent salary to enable people to fulfill their basic needs, I believe that people need to strike a balance between work and personal life. They should allow equal work and leisure time to ensure their overall wellbeing.
In this
fast
-paced world, everyone is trying to fulfill their dreams and achieve bigger career goals. As result, they
end
up working extra
time
and diminishing quality
time
for themselves.
However
, the disadvantages of this approach outweigh its advantages. I
intent
to discuss the pros and cons in the below paragraphs.

Firstly
, with society emphasizing on being career-oriented and getting a
good
income, more and more
people
are burning the midnight oil to build their status.
Many
individuals take up part-time jobs to fulfill their family needs or to become
financially
independent.
For instance
, most teachers apart from teaching at schools which offer them a mediocre salary,
also
work
at coaching classes for additional income.

On the other hand
, working for long hours is detrimental to physical and social well-being. Any person who is working
constantly
on the computer is prone to health issues like eye strain, lower back, and spine problems.
Additionally
, if someone who
is employed
for over twelve to sixteen hours will
eventually
spend less
time
with their
loved
ones and will deteriorate their communal relationships. An illustration of this can be
seen
among migrants who
move
to the city for
work
,
end
up sacrificing their personal
lives
.

To recapitulate, although it is vital to have higher career goals and earn a decent salary to enable
people
to fulfill their basic needs, I believe that
people
need to strike a balance between
work
and personal life. They should
allow
equal
work
and leisure
time
to ensure their
overall
wellbeing.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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