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Advantage or disadvantage watching television

Advantage or disadvantage watching television pbN0w
The advantages and disadvantages of watching TV. Nowadays, every family has a television. We watch TV as a family during meals and at weekends. Today, people can not imagine their lives without TV. There are many advantages and disadvantages of watching TV today. One of the major advantages is that the TV will need us to be aware of the news as well as for the interesting information. In addition to education programs are broadcast on television. This is useful for pupil. One of the other advantages is that entertainment programs and music help to calm and after bad or tiring events. On the other hand watching TV is the biggest thing that disturb for pupil. Unfortunately, there are a deal of obscene movies and TV programs on TV today. These programs change the minds of young. If we incorrect positioning in front of the screen, our vision may decline. In conclusion, there are advantages to watching TV, there also many disadvantages. Such as watching to much TV is harmful to our health
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of watching TV.

Nowadays, every family has a television. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV as a family during meals and at weekends.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not imagine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without TV. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
is that the TV will need us to be aware of the news
as well
as for the interesting information.
In addition
to education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are broadcast on television. This is useful for pupil. One of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
is that entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to calm and after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or tiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

On the other hand
watching TV is the biggest thing that disturb for pupil. Unfortunately, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deals"?
deal
of obscene movies and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the minds of young. If
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we incorrect
positioning in front of the screen, our vision may decline.

In conclusion
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to watching TV, there
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. Such as watching
Did you mean "too"?
to
much TV is harmful to our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health
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IELTS essay Advantage or disadvantage watching television

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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