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Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. LA61
In our new world, zoos are still one of most interesting places that everyone can go with family and friends to have an enjoyable quality time together. Zoos are very popular around the world and we can find them almost in every big city. Different kinds of animals can be found there, from local one to rare and in danger of extinction creatures. On one hand, some people think that zoos are places to torture animals, unfortunately this is true in many times. Almost all animals that live in zoos are took a part from their families and kept in small cages. It is unfair to take a lion from vast fields in Africa and prison it between concrete walls alone. On the other hand, many people believe that, zoos are the best places for kids to see many kinds of animals and increase their knowledge about how animals live, what they eat and how their natural habitat should be. Also, zoos are best places to learn people how to treat wild animals, and protect their natural environment. Somehow, there are some significant zoos around the world that equipped with special facilities to protect injured and endangered animals. In these centers that called “Shelter”, trained personals use their specialties to care rare and endangered animals. These places are the Heaven for animals that hurt, because of mankind activities, such as shipping and sailing in sees and oceans, deforesting jungles and hunting or even farming. In conclusion, as all scientists, I believe in science as a solution. The best way to have pure wild life and gain good knowledge about it is to do not jail any kind of wild animals and let them live in their own natural habitat, and just develop caring “Shelters” for visitors to come and see.
In our new world, zoos are
still
one of most interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
family and friends to have an enjoyable quality time together. Zoos are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
we can find them almost in every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be found
there, from local one to rare and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction creatures.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to torture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, unfortunately this is true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. Almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in zoos are
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
a part from their families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
cages. It is unfair to take a lion from vast fields in Africa and prison it between concrete walls alone.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, zoos are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and increase their knowledge about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, what they eat and how their natural habitat should be.
Also
, zoos are best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how to treat wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and protect their natural environment.

Somehow, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant zoos around the world that equipped with special facilities to protect injured and endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In these centers that called “Shelter”, trained personals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their specialties to care rare and endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are the Heaven for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that hurt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mankind activities, such as shipping and sailing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
and oceans, deforesting jungles and hunting or even farming.

In conclusion
, as all scientists, I believe in science as a solution. The best way to have pure wild life and gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge about it is to do not jail any kind of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
natural habitat, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
develop caring “Shelters” for visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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