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Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole Do you agree or disagree

Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole kdqd
Nowadays, more and more teenagers spend their spare time playing video games or hanging out with their friends. Some say they rather should work for free helping their local community than merely waste time. They argue that this will have numerous benefits for them as for society as well however personally I do not agree with that. On the one hand, it is clear, that development of personality is one of the major things that the modern community is trying to teach us. Giving teenagers unpaid jobs such as cleaning the streets or helping old people with their daily affairs may teach young people good manners. In Scandinavian countries like Norway and Sweden, every person from 13 to 18 is required to help old people as well as the local community. In a conclusion, this not only teaches young persons about how important to care about somebody but also helps to develop a strong personality. Moreover, due to some researches this causes the lowest percentage of crime in those countries. On the other hand, without a doubt, young age is a gorgeous time for teenagers when they may spend their free time whatever they want. It is understandable that young people will prefer spending their spare time meeting with their friends rather than working. Moreover, in some cases, adults merely not allow their children to go to every kind of work. In the US, for example, it is forbidden for young person work until they turn 18. However, in some countries young people work in the local communities but, in fact, they earn money. To conclude, I truly believe that young age is a perfect opportunity for young people to spend their free time with pleasure before they will go to university or real work. However, if they have a desire they can work but it should be paid one.
Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing video games or hanging out with their friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say they
rather
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for free helping their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
than
merely
waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They argue that this will have numerous benefits for them as for society
as well
however
personally
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that development of personality is one of the major things that the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is trying to teach us. Giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
unpaid jobs such as cleaning the streets or helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their daily affairs may teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners. In Scandinavian countries like Norway and Sweden, every person from 13 to 18
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In a conclusion, this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
persons about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to care about somebody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop a strong personality.
Moreover
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches this causes the lowest percentage of crime in those countries.

On the other hand
, without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age is a gorgeous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
when they may spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
whatever they want. It is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will prefer spending their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meeting with their friends
rather
than working.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, adults
merely
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children to go to every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In the US,
for example
, it
is forbidden
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until they turn 18.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in fact, they earn money.

To conclude
, I
truly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age is a perfect opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with pleasure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they will go to university or real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, if they have a desire they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be paid
one.
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IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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