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Many people think hosting an international sporting event in beneficial to a country,while others disagree. Discuss both views and give you opinion

Many people think hosting an international sporting event in beneficial to a country, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give you opinion n66RP
Nodoubt, a lot of events are organized by people in country at different places. Sports, which is played among the nations, is a very popular in modern time. Youngsters give the most preference to the sports as well as others. In every nations. The folk of people believe that hosting an international sporting events, these are beneficial for every country, while other argue that it is not necessary. I will elabourate the both views and my opinion in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, sports events play an essential role in the development of country. That events are increasing day by day in which every country can get the proud and fame in front of other countries. To go deeper, in the sporting events, they can get the other opportunities and price as the winners which is very beneficial for their future as well as income source. They can easily fulfill their basic needs. For instance, according to the survey of oxford university, that research describe that in 2005, Brazil got a soccer world cup in sporting events and the ‘Brazil’ name was seen in all media resources such as newspaper, magazines, televisions. Secondly, they are insipiration for others, due to that fact, youngsters are always motivated by famous leaders. Therefore, youngsters always want to play in their local area, , after that they can get the chance to play on international level. On the other side, that sporting events create many isuues in society and touristers faces many problems during that programmes. There are security threats for the visitors and touristers where that events are organized by authorities. A lot of money spend on the programmes such as for decoration, luxury arrangement, food and for other other purposes. They need maximum money for security, thus they can control the nation and safe the that place in which they organize that events. For example in 2005, Brazile spend 24 million dollars for the security of country. Moreover, they can use that money in other ways like for the starving people. Thus, some people are disagree with that points. In conclusion, although I understand that huge money needs for the safety of nation and other purposes, I would argue that hosting international sporting events are beneficial for both that country which organize that and for other countries which participate in it. Countries should be organize that sporting events in every year for the development.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nodoubt
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are organized
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. Sports, which
is played
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in modern time. Youngsters give the most preference to the sports
as well
as others. In every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "nation"?
nations
. The folk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that hosting an international sporting
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "event"?
events
, these are beneficial for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
argue that it is not necessary. I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
elabourate
the both views and my opinion in subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
play an essential role in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are increasing day by day in which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proud and fame in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. To go deeper, in the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opportunities and price as the winners which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for their future
as well
as income source. They can
easily
fulfill their basic needs.
For instance
, according to the survey of oxford university, that research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
that in 2005, Brazil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a soccer world cup in sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and the ‘Brazil’ name was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in all media resources such as newspaper, magazines, televisions.
Secondly
, they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
insipiration
for others, due to that fact, youngsters are always motivated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
leaders.
Therefore
, youngsters always want to play in their local area,
Two consecutive commas
,
after that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to play on international level.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, that sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
isuues
in society and
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristers
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems during that
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. There are security threats for the visitors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristers
where that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are organized
by authorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spend on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as for decoration, luxury arrangement, food and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes. They need maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for security,
thus
they can control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and safe the that place in which they organize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
For example
in 2005,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brazile
spend 24 million dollars for the security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways like for the starving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with that points.

In conclusion
, although I understand that huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
needs for the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes, I would argue that hosting international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are beneficial for both that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which organize that and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which participate in it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
should be
Consider using the past participle "organized"?
organize
that sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in every year for the development.
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IELTS essay Many people think hosting an international sporting event in beneficial to a country, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give you opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
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    Present relevant ideas
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