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many people spend less time in their homes.what do you think are the reasons?what effects does it have on individuals and the society?

many people spend less time in their homes. what do you think are the reasons? what effects does it have on individuals and the society? 7aPAk
It is true that increasing number of people staying outside their homes for many hours each day. Here, I will discuss what cause this situation and how it will impact our personal and social lives. There are perhaps two main factors contributing to the phenomenon mentioned above. Firstly, an increasing high proportion of working people works overtime per day due to extremely high KPI or business culture, which means they usually spend more than 8 hours in the workplace. At the same time, schools always keep students in classes for long hours. A typical example of this is because of test-oriented educational system, average middle-school day in china runs from 7: 30 am to 10: 30 am. Secondly, unlike the past, people nowadays have access to a variety of hangouts, such as theatres, shopping malls, bars and gyms. Therefore it is understandable that why people go out for fun instead of just staying at home. Such trend has various effects on many aspects. From a personal perspective, spending all day long outside the house, perhaps lead to a high level of consumption, simply because those individuals need to pay for restaurant meals or even other pastime activities. However, if they only stay in homes, their expense would be relatively low. On the societal level, such time distribution would surely prompt local economy growth. To be more specific, It is not uncommon for white-collars to hang out with colleagues or friends after hectic work, they might have a barbecue in a Korean restaurant or hit a karaoke bar, or get facials, all of which possibly provide markets for catering, beauty, movie and clothing industries, and consequently boosts domestic business. In all, the fact that people spend more hours outside is a result of plenty of contributors, and it eventually impacts our lives to a larger or smaller extent.
It is true that increasing number of
people
staying outside their homes for
many
hours
each day. Here, I will discuss what cause this situation and how it will impact our personal and social
lives
.

There are perhaps two main factors contributing to the phenomenon mentioned above.
Firstly
, an increasing high proportion of working
people
works overtime per day due to
extremely
high KPI or business culture, which means they
usually
spend more than 8
hours
in the workplace. At the same time, schools always
keep
students in classes for long
hours
. A typical example of this is
because
of
test
-oriented educational system, average middle-school day in
china
runs from 7: 30 am to 10: 30 am.
Secondly
, unlike the past,
people
nowadays have access to a variety of hangouts, such as
theatres
, shopping malls, bars and gyms.
Therefore
it is understandable that why
people
go out for fun
instead
of
just
staying at home.

Such trend has various effects on
many
aspects. From a personal perspective, spending all day long outside the
house
, perhaps lead to a high level of consumption,
simply
because
those individuals need to pay for restaurant meals or even other pastime activities.
However
, if they
only
stay in homes, their expense would be
relatively
low. On the societal level, such time distribution would
surely
prompt local economy growth. To be more specific, It is not uncommon for white-collars to hang out with colleagues or friends after hectic work, they might have a barbecue in a Korean restaurant or hit a karaoke bar, or
get
facials, all of which
possibly
provide markets for catering, beauty, movie and clothing industries, and
consequently
boosts domestic business.

In all, the fact that
people
spend more
hours
outside is a result of
plenty
of contributors, and it
eventually
impacts our
lives
to a larger or smaller extent.
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IELTS essay many people spend less time in their homes. what do you think are the reasons? what effects does it have on individuals and the society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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