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Famous pop and sports stars earn millions of dollars. Many other entertainment and sports personalities also have very high incomes. On the other hand, most people in ordinary professions like nurses, doctors and teachers earn only a small fraction of the incomes of these stars. What do you think about stars receiving very high remunerations? Is it fair that people with jobs that directly help people are paid much less?

Famous pop and sports stars earn millions of dollars. Many other entertainment and sports personalities also have very high incomes. On the other hand, most people in ordinary professions like nurses, doctors and teachers earn only a small fraction of the incomes of these stars. What do you think about stars receiving very high remunerations? Is it fair that people with jobs that directly help people are paid much less? 15kLG
There is no doubt that celebrities earn in millions / billions. While they are paid in huge sums of money for gigs, real heroes behind the welfare of the people have meagre salaries. While I do believe that this is unfair, in my opinion, it is not practically possible to change this arrangement. First off, famous athletes and singers earn astronomical salaries because they possess unique talents. These people must be really brilliant at their craft to gain the popularity and success and this is not something they can achieve by taking a mere course. Hence, they deserve to earn more. Another argument in favour of their higher salaries is that a person’s income will always be proportional to the amount of money they can generate. Major events like Olympics generate billions of dollars in revenue and the success of these events depend entirely on the performance of the athletes. Obviously, they need to be paid more. Likewise, music concerts and movies depend on the popularity of a few stars and again generate lots of money. That is why these people are paid more. They make a lot of money; they generate a lot of employment and so they earn more. On the flip side, the people who work very hard for the welfare of the society does that much. While this is unfair, in my opinion, it is not practically possible to pay teachers or doctors the same salaries as footballers or pop singer. To start with, there are millions of doctors and engineers in the world; by contrast, there is only one Messi, or Steffi Graph or Kohli. Also, if you insist that doctors should earn millions, how many people will be able to afford healthcare? To pay them more hospitals have to charge more from patients. Use convincing ideas. These professionals should be paid adequately, but they cannot be paid in millions or billions for the simple reason that they do not generate that much money. Saving a life and teaching a child are noble activities but they do not generate revenue. In conclusion, celebrities earn more money because of their unique talents and their ability to generate money by virtue of those talent. The amount of money can a person can earn is and will always be proportional to the amount of income they can generate. Hence, doctors cannot be paid as much as athletes because the latter help generate a lot more revenue and jobs than the former.
There is no doubt that celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
/ billions. While they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
in huge sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for gigs, real heroes behind the welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. While I do believe that this is unfair, in my opinion, it is not
practically
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this arrangement.

First
off,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
athletes and singers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
astronomical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they possess unique talents. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
really
brilliant at their craft to gain the popularity and success and this is not something they can achieve by taking a mere course.
Hence
, they deserve to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more. Another argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is that a person’s income will always be proportional to the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
. Major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like Olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
billions of dollars in revenue and the success of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
depend
entirely
on the performance of the athletes.
Obviously
, they need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more.
Likewise
, music concerts and movies depend on the popularity of a few stars and again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
That is
why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
; they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more.

On the flip side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the welfare of the society does that much. While this is unfair, in my opinion, it is not
practically
possible to pay teachers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
as footballers or pop singer. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and engineers in the world; by contrast, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one Messi, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Steffi
Graph or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
.
Also
, if you insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to afford healthcare? To pay them more hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
charge more from patients.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. These professionals should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
adequately
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
or billions for the simple reason that they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Saving a life and teaching a child are noble activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
revenue.

In conclusion
, celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their unique talents and their ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by virtue of
Did you mean "this talent" or "those talents"?
those talent
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
is and will always be proportional to the amount of income they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
as much as athletes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more revenue and jobs than the former.
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IELTS essay Famous pop and sports stars earn millions of dollars. Many other entertainment and sports personalities also have very high incomes. On the other hand, most people in ordinary professions like nurses, doctors and teachers earn only a small fraction of the incomes of these stars. What do you think about stars receiving very high remunerations? Is it fair that people with jobs that directly help people are paid much less?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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