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many people say smoking should be banned some say it is not a good idea. waht is your opinion

many people say smoking should be banned some say it is not a good idea. waht is your opinion ogeg
it is indeed that majority of individuals trust that cigarettes' should be prohibited while, number of mankind think it is not a better idea. I will discuss both views this essay will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, majority of individuals think that smoking should be banned because it si detrimental to health and person suffer from many dangerous diseases such as lung cancer and breathing problem and human lead to death and smoking is long time to show symptoms such as breathing problem yet it always happen. Secondly, it is expensive and gender involved in crime for money and fulfill need of smoking. Thirdly, cigarettes' not harm only the smoker it effect to passive smoking and family. Apart from this, number of Wight think it should be no ban because tabacco company pay huge tax to authority and government utilize money on schools, Masque and hospitals and tabacco firms create huge job opportunities for youngster. Secondly, cigaratte refresh the mind and remove stress and smoker feel fresh and relief them who suffering from tension. To conclude, in my opinion smoking should ban because with cigarettes' person suffer from dangerous diseases such as lung cancer and breathing problem and person lead to death.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
indeed
that majority of individuals trust that cigarettes' should
be prohibited
while, number of mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I will discuss both views this essay will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it si
detrimental to health and person suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as lung cancer and breathing problem and human lead to death and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is long time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
symptoms such as breathing problem
yet
it always
Did you mean "happens"?
happen
.
Secondly
, it is expensive and gender involved in crime for money and fulfill need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Thirdly
, cigarettes' not harm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the smoker it
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
to passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and family. Apart from this, number of Wight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be no ban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
tabacco
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
pay huge tax to authority and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
utilize money on schools, Masque and hospitals and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tabacco
firms create huge job opportunities for youngster.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cigaratte
refresh the mind and remove
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and smoker feel fresh and relief them who suffering from tension.
To conclude
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should ban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with cigarettes' person suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as lung cancer and breathing problem and person lead to death.

IELTS essay many people say smoking should be banned some say it is not a good idea. waht is your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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