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Many people put their personal information online for purposes such as signing up for social media networks or online banking.is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online for purposes such as signing up for social media networks or online banking. is this a positive or negative development? gR6D
In this era, advancement technology has been rapidly increasing in the whole world. Most of the people are attracted towards the social media apps like as, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, twitter and so on. Many people say that most of the person put their personal wisdom share on the social media network. While, some person think that where the share address telephone on the online banking. It is a negative development. Consequently, I will discuss both sides in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, these days all around the world individuals have been attracted towards the social media websites. First and foremost, there are numerous social media apps available on the internet. For instance, no doubt the all people use to social apps for the enjoyment, jokes, study work and so on. However, when the society download the any social app on the play store than it is compulsory make the I'd passport for operate the social websites. In addition, another share the information like as, telephone addrass, email addrass and so on. Then through this community can operate the social online app. So, It is a sustainable way how to use the social apps. It is a positive development. One the other hand, some people believe that to make use the social media apps there are lots of problems creates for the society as well as companies. In addition, these day mostly the tutee are much use social apps for the entertainment. For example, when the specially pupils use to online apps than sometimes few children make the fake I'd passport fill in this app and through this a number of problem generate for the other people. Moreover, It is a huge effect on the scholars because the loss of study due to use social websites. So, it is a negative development use the social medial apps. In conclusion, according to me, I think we can easily share the information on the WhatsApp social media apps because we can choose the other individuals for add in this apps. So, I believe there has not massive problem creates through this only app.
In this era, advancement technology has been
rapidly
increasing in the whole world. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
apps like as, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, twitter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that most of the person put their personal wisdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
network.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "people", "persons"?
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
address telephone on the online banking. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
Consequently
, I will discuss both sides in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, these days all around the world individuals have
been attracted
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites.
First
and foremost, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
apps available on the internet.
For instance
, no doubt the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps for the enjoyment, jokes, study work and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, when the society
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "downloads".
download
the any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
app on the play store than it is compulsory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "I"?
the I
'd passport for operate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites.
In addition
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the information like as, telephone
Possible spelling mistake found.
addrass
, email
Possible spelling mistake found.
addrass
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Then through this community can operate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
online app.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It is a sustainable way how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
apps there are lots of problems creates for the society
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In addition
,
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
mostly
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutee
are much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps for the entertainment.
For example
, when the
specially
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to online apps than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
few children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the fake I'd passport fill in this app and through this a number of problem generate for the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, It is a huge effect on the scholars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the loss of study due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
medial apps.
In conclusion
, according to me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the information on the WhatsApp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
apps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can choose the other individuals for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in
Did you mean "these"?
this
apps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe there has not massive problem creates through this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
app.

IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online for purposes such as signing up for social media networks or online banking. is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
352 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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