Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people patronize larger industries and ignore local shops because the big firms invest a lot into promotion and marketing. What can this cause to the local shops? What can be done to make people patronize the local shops?

Many people patronize larger industries and ignore local shops because the big firms invest a lot into promotion and marketing. What can this cause to the local shops? What can be done to make people patronize the local shops? r8k7p
Nowadays, due to the effects of globalization, many companies tend to open their showroom across the globe. This has led to the majority of people think that bigger industries are better than local shops, because the big companies put their efforts in promoting and marketing. This has an impact on local shops and there are certain steps that can be implemented to make people patronize the local companies. To commence with, as big industries are expanding aggressively, they invest in promoting their goods, which has caused local shops their business. For example, companies in food and fashion industry has a tremendous impact on the buyer. Companies like MC Donalds have created adverts for younger children, which has caused 70% of the business to the local shops. In addition to the business impact, these big firms are also able to change the mindset of the people, that these products are local and not that durable. Educating people and making them aware about the benefits of local shops is the first step to patronize local shops. Secondly, educating people about the marketing gimmick and what impact does it has on the society and the country overall. For instance, a country like China has been successful in inculcating these values in their citizens. Because of this the country has been able to grow drastically. Moreover, government can give some benefits to the business to start manufacturing in-house. Due to this benefit, there will be more number of people who can open their local shops and succeed. In conclusion, although, big companies with marketing strategies are able to lure the customers, there are some countries which are able to manufacture products in-house. With the help of government and local leaders there are ways to help these local shops grow and prosper. This eventually brings prosperity back to the country.
Nowadays, due to the effects of globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
tend to open their showroom across the globe. This has led to the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that bigger industries are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
put their efforts in promoting and marketing. This has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and there are certain steps that can
be implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
patronize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

To commence with, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
industries are expanding
aggressively
, they invest in promoting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in food and fashion industry has a tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the buyer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
like MC
Possible spelling mistake found.
Donalds have
created adverts for younger children, which has caused 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
firms are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mindset of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that these products are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and not that durable.

Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and making them aware about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is the
first
step to patronize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Secondly
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the marketing gimmick and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
does it
Did you mean "have"? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
has
on the society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
overall
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like China has been successful in inculcating these values in their citizens.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to grow
drastically
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
manufacturing in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Due to this benefit, there will be more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can open their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and succeed.

In conclusion
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with marketing strategies are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to lure the customers, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to manufacture products in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
leaders there are ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
grow and prosper. This
eventually
brings prosperity back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many people patronize larger industries and ignore local shops because the big firms invest a lot into promotion and marketing. What can this cause to the local shops? What can be done to make people patronize the local shops?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many people patronize larger industries and ignore local shops because the big firms invest a lot into promotion and marketing. What can this cause to the local shops? What can be done to make people patronize the local shops?