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Some people think learning musical instruments is a waste of time, while others think it is beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think learning musical instruments is a waste of time, while others think it is beneficial in many ways. n6eBo
Undoubtedly, music is an art and everyone can express their feelings, joys and sorrows by music. A section of society deems that taking an education about musical equipments are not beneficial because it is not helpful in an academic education as well as reading and writing are more essential for them. Whilst, another neglect this notion and support that music tools are providing relaxation from stress as well as select these as careers. However, this easy will shed light on the both views along with my prospective. The one school of thought believes that learn about music instruments are not better for people as it is wastage of time. Moreover, music tools are not assist humans in their academic studies to achieve desirable marks in their exams. On the other hand, musical equipment’s are major factors to distract their focus on education. In addition to this, reading as well as writing skills are crucial for people rather than learning music because it helps to polish the academic fields of masses to make them successful in upcoming periods. Even though, writing and reading skills are not only improving people’s academic level but also beneficial for brain power as well. For example, a survey conducted by media reported that university degree play necessary part in humans career as compared with knowledge of musical instruments. The another school of thought said that it is crucial for people to get knowledge about musical equipments because they are helpful for them in many manners. Furthermore, the main is that nowadays a vast amount of stress are increasing drastically and reached to peak at higher level among humans due to their workloads so that is why musical tools are mandatory for them to provide comfortable and convenient stress free life. Similarly, if a human who can learning about these instruments such as guitar, piano, flute and etcetera how to play it than it is useful for them to reduce their mental burden and they can notice dramatic decline in their stress levels. The another factor is that a majority of masses pressuring learning of musical tools as their career which in films, completions as well as music industries and eligible to earn bread and butter. For instance, Shankar Mahadeva a famous singer and music composer of Indian Bollywood industry, he have huge knowledge about playing musical instruments and he expand his this talent into musical world and gain lots name and fame. In my perception, it is necessary to give focus on an Education by humans because it is assist them to build up their futures. While, learning about musical equipments are essential for them to get freedom from their regular boring schedule, express feelings and emotions as well as select it to develop their career. In conclusion, although, an education are important for human’s future and make them good, responsible citizens as well but music help them to earn income and satisfaction.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an art and everyone can express their feelings, joys and sorrows by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. A section of society deems that taking an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
are not beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not helpful in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as reading and writing are more essential for them. Whilst, another neglect this notion and support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
are providing relaxation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as select these as careers.
However
, this easy will shed light on the both views along with my prospective.

The one school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instruments are not better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as it is wastage of time.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
are not assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies to achieve desirable marks in their exams.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment’s
are major factors to distract their focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
In addition
to this, reading as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to polish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
fields of masses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful in upcoming periods.
Even though
, writing and reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
beneficial for brain power as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
For example
, a survey conducted by media reported that university degree play necessary part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
career as compared with knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instruments.

The another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
said that it is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are helpful for them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manners.
Furthermore
, the main is that nowadays a vast amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
are increasing
drastically
and reached to peak at higher level among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
due to their workloads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
are mandatory for them to provide comfortable and convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
free life.
Similarly
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
who can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about these instruments such as guitar, piano, flute and etcetera how to play it than it is useful for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their mental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
burden and
they can notice dramatic decline in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels. The another factor is that a majority of masses pressuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
as their career which in films, completions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industries and eligible to earn bread and butter.
For instance
, Shankar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahadeva
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
composer of Indian Bollywood industry, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
huge knowledge about playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
instruments and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "expands", "expanded".
expand
his this talent into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
world and gain lots name and fame.

In my perception, it is necessary to give focus on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is assist them to build up their futures. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
are essential for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
freedom from their regular boring schedule, express feelings and emotions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as select it to develop their career.

In conclusion
, although, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, responsible citizens as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn income and satisfaction.
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IELTS essay Some people think learning musical instruments is a waste of time, while others think it is beneficial in many ways.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
487 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think learning musical instruments is a waste of time, while others think it is beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.