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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? MXVQ
Nowadays, some people ternd to enjoy their hobbies and interests in different ways, some of these are dangerous like climbing mountain and others are safely. This essay agrees that some dangerous activities can be used by people in different reasons. First, doing some kinds of difficult activities can be good for personnel mentality and health in which several doctors advised and stated that: "if you enhance your self confident, then you have to do some danger activities like climbing mountain ". In adition, extreme activities can be good choice to break the boring, but the important point you have to follow all safety procedures while doing such kind of tasks to protect your self. In the other hand, some concerns in safety sides make people disagree to do such activities, for example: climbing mountain is very dangerous and there are many human lossed their lives while doing this activity because of slipping and tripping hazards which people face during mountain climbing. furthermore, the other thinking that extreme activities can encourage teenagers to do it hence they don't have enough skills to do, things which can lead to bad consequences. Finally, it is advised and recommened for people who like to practice these hobbies to follow all safety procedures if they want to do such kind of activities in safe manner. In addition, they have to attend many training sessions to be aware about different skills and knowledges of them, and remeber that our life is important, so try to practice your hoppies which you like and prefer, but in a safe way to avoid any consequence which may happen.
Nowadays,
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some
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people
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ternd
to enjoy their hobbies and interests in
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different
ways,
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some
of these are
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dangerous
like
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climbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
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and others
are
safely
. This essay
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agrees
that
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some
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dangerous
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activities
can be
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used
by
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people
in
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different
reasons.

First
, doing
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some
kinds of difficult
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activities
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for personnel mentality and health in which several doctors advised and stated that:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
if you enhance your
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self confident
, then you
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have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. In
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adition
, extreme
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activities
can be
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good
choice to break the boring,
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but
the
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important
point you
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have to
follow all safety procedures while doing such kind of tasks to protect your self.

In the other hand,
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some
concerns in safety sides
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make
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people
disagree to do such
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activities
,
for example
:
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climbing
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mountain
is
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very
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dangerous
and there are
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many
human
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lossed
their
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lives
while doing this
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activity
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because
of slipping and tripping hazards which
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people
face during
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mountain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, the other thinking that extreme
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activities
can encourage
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teenagers
to do it
hence
they don't have
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enough
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skills
to do, things which can lead to
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bad
consequences.

Finally
, it
is advised
and
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recommened
for
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people
who like to practice these hobbies to follow all safety procedures if they want to do such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in safe manner.
In addition
, they
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have to
attend
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many
training sessions to be aware about
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different
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skills
and
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knowledges
of them, and
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remeber
that our life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
try to practice your
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoppies
which you like and prefer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
to avoid any consequence which may happen.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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