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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? MMW8q
In this day and age, extreme activities are popular among many people. By carrying out dangerous sports such as bungee jumping and mountain climbing, many individuals keep their lives at risk. Personally, I think that everything in life has two sides, they should get prepared to accept the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why people are engaging in extreme activities. The main one is because people are interested in having fun experiences due to attraction and for relaxation purpose. Extreme exercises allow individuals to have an exhilarating experience. This is because in a healthy environment, individuals are able to participate in a dangerous operation. In addition, since it can break monotony and encourage them to feeling recharged throughout their daily lives, individuals participate in these activities. For example, Young people also book a sky tour like hanging gliding from the mountains so they can see from the sky the whole scene and lift their mood. On the other hand, I also believe that although the gear and gadgets are not stable and it is hard to persuade man-made equipment, it may keep humans at risk. Therefore, safety is necessary in any case which does not depend on how skillful the participants are. People have to be forced to do these extreme things because they are having to go through some severe difficulties in their lives, which is why moving closer to death helps them forget the issues and see these ultimate actions as a relief. In conclusion, I also believe that we should be prepared before you participate any activities. If we know the right places guarantee us from incidents, doing these fun outside practices is beneficial for individuals in both their external and internal systems.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By carrying out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sports such as bungee jumping and mountain climbing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everything in life has two sides, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prepared to accept the advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The main one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in having fun experiences due to attraction and for relaxation purpose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extreme
exercises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to have an exhilarating experience. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in a healthy environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are able to participate in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
operation.
In addition
, since it can break monotony and encourage them to
Did you mean "feel"?
feeling
recharged throughout their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
participate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
book a sky tour like hanging gliding from the mountains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the sky the whole scene and lift their mood.

On the other hand
, I
also
believe that although the gear and gadgets are not stable and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to persuade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made equipment, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
humans at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Therefore
, safety is necessary in any case which does not depend on how skillful the participants are.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be forced
to do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are having to go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe difficulties in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, which is why moving closer to death
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them forget the issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these ultimate actions as a relief.

In conclusion
, I
also
believe that we should
be prepared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you participate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. If we know the right places guarantee us from incidents, doing these fun outside practices is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in both their external and internal systems.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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