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Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

Today's world most of people leave the rural place for living in cities and it mainly change theirs life, effect their habits and most of these habits can cause some problem such as luck of physical exercise. Due to time limit, people just need make every action quickly as much as they and usage of automation system technological advance and also vehicles like bus train car is a best way to reach the time target. From home appliances to industry workforce most of work don't need any kind of physical movement, because most of them just managed remotly from devices such as washing machine, cleaning robot, the wheel and axle. The severity of movement in daily life in workplace, home leads people to a more passive lifestyle. Other problems come with the mistaken usage of gadgets. It mainly appear at young age group which their social life such as doing sport just change it to online video games. As a result, sitting in front of screen for hours turn as addiction and limitation of motion. On other hand, utilize of public transport system just going upward and compearing with past, there are infrequent number of bicycle on the road. Even people tent to be use bus or tran for short distance road. Of course we can't ignore the urbanization effect and it cause such as deforestration of park, natural places where people are more likely to do physical activities. In conclusion, some city residents facing challenges to get enough exercises. This is caused by the long working day and the absence of suitable exercising places. That is been said, there are ways to overcome this; like creating new personal habits and exercise-encouraging government plans.
Today
's world most of
people
leave
the rural place for living in
cities and
it
mainly
change
theirs life, effect their habits and most of these habits can cause
some
problem such as luck of physical exercise. Due to time limit,
people
just
need
make
every action
quickly
as much as they and usage of automation system technological advance and
also
vehicles like bus train car is
a
best way to reach the time target. From home appliances to industry workforce
most of work
don't need any kind of physical movement,
because
most of them
just
managed
remotly
from devices such as washing machine, cleaning robot, the wheel and axle. The severity of movement in daily life in workplace, home leads
people
to a more passive lifestyle. Other problems
come
with the mistaken usage of gadgets. It
mainly
appear
at young age group which their social life such as doing sport
just
change
it to online video games.
As a result
, sitting in front of screen for hours turn as addiction and limitation of motion. On other hand, utilize of public transport system
just
going upward and
compearing
with past, there are infrequent number of bicycle on the road. Even
people
tent to be
use
bus or
tran
for short distance road. Of
course we
can't
ignore
the urbanization
effect and
it
cause
such as
deforestration
of park, natural places where
people
are more likely to do physical activities.
In conclusion
,
some
city residents facing challenges to
get
enough
exercises. This
is caused
by the long working day and the absence of suitable exercising places. That
is been
said, there are ways to overcome this; like creating new personal habits and exercise-encouraging
government
plans.
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IELTS essay Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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