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Many people like to wear fashionable cloths Why do you think this is the case? Is this good thing or bad thing?

Many people like to wear fashionable cloths Why do you think this is the case? Is this good thing or bad thing? Weyq
It is inevitable fact that people of current era are inclined to wearing trendy attire owing to latest developments of a fashion industry. I advocate above statement and will share my viewpoint in subsequent paragraphs with a relevant epitome. There are a plethora of reasons which are responsible for such development among people. Firstly, various social media platforms does make crucial impact on choice of people specially youngsters. Nowadays, you will find every celebrity is having more than million followers to their social media accounts which ultimately indulge young generation to follow their foot-prints. Needless to state that, all individuals not only tend to copy latest fashionable outfits but also looking for stylish accessories of their favourite personalities. Secondly, owing to neck to neck competition of various fashion houses it has been observed that companies have started to offer heavy discounts on designer cloths which is attracting large number of young people. To exemplify, In India, On-line giants like AMAZON, MYNTRA are offering 50-60 % discounts on their designed outfits which is gaining ground nowadays. Moreover, individuals tend to get more cash-back if they purchase it from some specific credit-card or wallet. One of the prime reasons for my inclination is that while possessing trendy looks people always use to offer more confidence which subsequently get reflected in their outcome as well. Another reason why I adore subject statement is that it will give rise to fashion industry which ultimately supports growth of the country as well as expands the scope of on-line shopping too. Having said that though, style and fashion shall be always limited to personal occasions only as during official duty such kind of dressing habit is not going to help in anyway. All in all, owing to recent advancements of internet as well as various social media platforms, it has become possible for individuals to follow latest trends and style statements of renowned personalities and I accord, it should not have any detrimental impact to humanity
It is inevitable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era
are inclined
to wearing trendy attire owing to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
developments of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry. I advocate above statement and will share my viewpoint in subsequent paragraphs with a relevant epitome.

There are a plethora of reasons which are responsible for such development among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, various social media platforms does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
crucial impact on choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
youngsters. Nowadays, you will find every celebrity is having more than
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
followers to their social media accounts which
ultimately
indulge young generation to follow their foot-prints. Needless to state that, all individuals not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tend to copy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
fashionable outfits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
looking for stylish accessories of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
personalities.
Secondly
, owing
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to neck".
to neck to neck
competition of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
it has
been observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to offer heavy discounts on designer cloths which is attracting large number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To exemplify, In India, On-line giants like AMAZON,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MYNTRA
are offering 50-60 % discounts on their designed outfits which is gaining ground nowadays.
Moreover
, individuals tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more cash-back if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific credit-card or wallet.

One of the prime reasons for my inclination is that while possessing trendy looks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
offer more confidence which
subsequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reflected in their outcome
as well
. Another reason why I adore subject statement is that it will give rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry which
ultimately
supports growth of the country
as well
as expands the scope of on-line shopping too. Having said that though, style and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
shall be always limited to personal occasions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as during official duty such kind of dressing habit is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Did you mean "in any way"?
in anyway
.

All in all, owing to recent advancements of internet
as well
as various social media platforms, it has become possible for individuals to follow
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
trends and style statements of renowned personalities and I accord, it should not have any detrimental impact to humanity
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IELTS essay Many people like to wear fashionable cloths Why do you think this is the case? Is this good thing or bad thing?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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