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Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should beclosed. What problems do zoos bring?What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Obviously, zoos are not a place that is important to many today. Also, people feel that it is better if they are closed. From my point of view, there are problems bought by zoos. However, there are many alternative ways to save a place to study animals. The following paragraphs will discuss in detail the problems and alternative methods. On the one hand, zoos contain different types of animals, so there are many ways to care for them, depending on the nature of each species. Therefore, inappropriate care for them creates problems for them, especially for their health. For example, some species take about 9 hours of sleep a day, but they have to sleep all day due to electric lights and tourist noise, so their lack of sleep ultimately affects their physical health. Not only their physical health but also their mental health. In other words, they can experience stress due to limited space and ultimately affect their mental health. On the other hand, zoos are essential sources of knowledge. Therefore, it is better to preserve the positive aspects of zoos, while not harming the animals' health. Technology plays an important role in modern society. Thus, adapting animal learning technology is one good alternative. For example, visual zoos that use visual images or videos of wildlife, or organize online zoo tours, come to learn about the animals. These alternative ways can allow animals to live their lives in suitable places for them, while children never lose their important sources of learning. they can also enjoy studying animals. To summarize, there are ways that balance between preserving animal health and preserving knowledge sources.
Obviously
, zoos are not a place
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that it is better if they
are closed
. From my point of view, there are problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by zoos.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to save a place to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The following paragraphs will discuss in detail the problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
methods.

On the one hand, zoos contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to care for them, depending on the nature of each species.
Therefore
, inappropriate care for them creates problems for them,
especially
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species take about 9 hours of sleep a day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sleep all day due to electric lights and tourist noise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their lack of sleep
ultimately
affects their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In other words
, they can experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to limited space and
ultimately
affect their mental health.

On the other hand
, zoos are essential sources of knowledge.
Therefore
, it is better to preserve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of zoos, while not harming the animals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Technology plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in modern society.
Thus
, adapting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
learning technology is one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
.
For example
, visual zoos that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
visual images or videos of wildlife, or organize online zoo tours,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in suitable places for them, while children never lose their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sources of learning.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
also
enjoy studying animals.

To summarize
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that balance between preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and preserving knowledge sources.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should beclosed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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