Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Almost all developing countries such as middle-eastern countries, which are in the state of war, are nations dealing with poverty. It is said that governments of wealthy nations should help them to advance the essential fields such as health, education and trading. I strongly agree with this statement. Firstly, these states do not have sufficient money to enhance the medical equipment and health services for innocent citizens, which leads to more death rates due to shortage of health facilities. Consequently, first-world nations should cooperate to provide medical requirements like special apparatus or drugs saving so many lives. For instance, during the pandemic unjust distribution of vaccine and drugs resulted in death of millions of people in countries with low income. In addition, literacy rate in developing countries is not as much as that in rich nations because most children have to work from young ages to meet their basic needs such as food and accommodation, as a result they may leave the school. While children of other countries are studying in modern schools with the best technologies and in a peaceful environment, these kids are suffering lack of educational facilities. Governments of high income countries should help poorer ones to build free schools for children and also they can send free books, which are updated with the modern techniques of teaching. Last but not least, managing the trading section is another way to increase these nations progression. Therefore, international companies can open new branches there due to cheap labor and raw materials which is followed by more exports and imports and as a consequence higher income for both sides of the trading. However, some argue that governments of third-world countries seeing helps of others, would stop trying to improve their society. In my opinion these nations are that poor that they probably cannot advance anything. In conclusion, first-world countries should help other nations in medical and educational sections as well as trading.
Almost all developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as middle-eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which are in the state of war, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
dealing with poverty. It
is said
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to advance the essential fields such as health, education and trading. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, these states do not have sufficient money to enhance the medical equipment and health services for innocent citizens, which leads to more death rates due to shortage of health facilities.
Consequently
,
first
-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should cooperate to provide medical requirements like special apparatus or drugs saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, during the pandemic unjust distribution of vaccine and drugs resulted in death of millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with low income.

In addition
, literacy rate in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is not as much as that in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work from young ages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs such as food and accommodation,
as a result
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the school. While children of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are studying in modern schools with the best technologies and in a peaceful environment, these kids are suffering lack of educational facilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
of high income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poorer ones to build free schools for children and
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
free books, which
are updated
with the modern techniques of teaching.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, managing the trading section is another way to increase these
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
progression.
Therefore
, international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can open new branches there due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
labor and raw materials which
is followed
by more exports and imports and as a consequence higher income for both sides of the trading.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
of others, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their society. In my opinion these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are that poor that they
probably
cannot advance anything.

In conclusion
,
first
-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in medical and educational sections
as well
as trading.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts