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Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

It is apparent that zoos are not the place that important for many people nowadays. In addition, people believe that it better if they are closed. From my point of view, there are some problems bought by zoos. However, there are many alternative ways for keep place to learning about animals. In following paragraphs, problems and alternative ways will be discussed in detail. Zoos, where contain of various species of animals, so there are many methods for look after them depend on natural of each species. Therefore, unsuitable looking after them cause problems to them, especially in their health. For example, some species need time to sleep approximately 10-12 hours per day, but their have to up all day because of electrical light and tourists so their short of sleep and finally affects their physical health. Not only their physical health but also their mental health. In other words, they may stressed from limited space and finally affected their mental health. However, zoos are the essential sources of knowledge for children. Therefore, it better to keep the good points of zoos, in the same time not suffering animals by harm their health. Technology plats an essential role in society nowadays. Thus, adaptation of technology for animal learning of children is one of the good alternative ways. In example, visual zoos that using visual pictures or clips of wild animals, or provide zoo online tour for children come to learning about animal. These alternative ways can provide animals live their life in suitable areas for them, while children never lost their important learning sources. their can enjoy learning about animal like the same. In summary. There are the way that balanced between keep animals healthy and keep children learning sources. In my opinion, the alternative ways discussed in the former provided the good ways for keep them all.
It is apparent that zoos are not the place that
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important
for
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many
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people
nowadays.
In addition
,
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people
believe that it better if they
are closed
. From my point of view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
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bought
by zoos.
However
, there are
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many
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alternative
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ways
for
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keep
place to
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learning
about
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animals
. In following paragraphs, problems and
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alternative
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ways
will
be discussed
in detail.

Zoos, where contain of various species of
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animals
,
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so
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods for look after them depend on natural of each species.
Therefore
, unsuitable looking after them cause problems to them,
especially
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
,
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some
species need time to sleep approximately 10-12 hours per day,
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but
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their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
up all day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of electrical light and tourists
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so
their short of sleep and
finally
affects their physical
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health
. Not
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only
their physical
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health
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but
also
their mental
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health
.
In other words
, they may
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stressed
from limited space and
finally
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affected
their mental health.

However
, zoos are the essential sources of knowledge for
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children
.
Therefore
, it better to
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keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points of zoos, in the same time not suffering
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animals
by harm their
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health
. Technology plats an essential role in society nowadays.
Thus
, adaptation of technology for
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animal
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learning
of
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children
is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. In example, visual zoos that using visual pictures or clips of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, or provide zoo online tour for
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children
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come
to
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learning
about
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animal
. These
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alternative
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ways
can provide
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animals
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live
their life in suitable areas for them, while
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children
never lost their
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important
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learning
sources.
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their
can enjoy
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learning
about
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animal
like the same.

In summary. There
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are
the
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way
that balanced between
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keep
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animals
healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sources. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
discussed in the former provided the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them all.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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