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Many people believe that the government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to the countryside. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that the government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to the countryside. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? qVQja
It is a fact that many of the enterprises are operated and promoted in metropolitan areas only. This has caused people to think that whether the authorities should provide incentives for factories and other companies to relocate from urban areas to rural sites. This development would introduce both pros and cons, but I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, it is clear that to locate companies in regional areas would bring about several disadvantages. One of the prominent drawbacks is the difficulties in finding labour. In other words, the companies may face challenges to attain well-qualified employees, who play a major role in taking these firms to the next level. Another reason is that the companies may be located further away from their clients, which might weaken their relationships with their customers. Last but not least, the gradual increase in the amount of population in such rural areas will increase the crime rate. On the other hand, I argue that there are some obvious advantages of promoting industries to locate in the countryside. First and foremost, it would benefit rural communities by boosting their economies and providing job opportunities in the neighbourhood, thereby preventing the need for them to make a long commute to work in the city. Second, it is also likely that numerous organizations would have a significant decline in costs, such as the leases on the premises, which are usually dramatically higher in the big cities. Finally, by locating businesses in remote areas, it would help metropolises by reducing overcrowding, traffic jams and pollution levels. In conclusion, there are minus points to manipulate industries to relocate their premises. Nevertheless, it seems to me that its advantages would be more important regarding decreasing leasing cost, developing healthier economy in rural sites and a plus point on solving congestion.
It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the enterprises
are operated
and promoted in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This has caused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whether the authorities should provide incentives for factories and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to relocate from urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
sites. This development would introduce both pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that to locate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would bring about several disadvantages. One of the prominent drawbacks is the difficulties in finding
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may face challenges
Did you mean "attaining"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to attain
well-qualified employees, who play a major role in taking these firms to the
next
level. Another reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may
be located
further
away from their clients, which might weaken their relationships with their customers. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the gradual increase in the amount of population in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will increase the crime rate.

On the other hand
, I argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious advantages of promoting industries to locate in the countryside.
First
and foremost, it would benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities by boosting their economies and providing job opportunities in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, thereby preventing the need for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long commute to work in the city. Second, it is
also
likely that numerous organizations would have a significant decline in costs, such as the leases on the premises, which are
usually
dramatically
higher in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Finally
, by locating businesses in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
metropolises by reducing overcrowding, traffic jams and pollution levels.

In conclusion
, there are minus points to manipulate industries to relocate their premises.
Nevertheless
, it seems to me that its advantages would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
regarding decreasing leasing cost, developing healthier economy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
sites and a plus point on solving congestion.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to the countryside. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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