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Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not ? Provide reasons and examples to support your response

Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not? Provide reasons and examples to support your response xo7o
It is often believed by many individuals that watching television channels is not important for children. This essay agrees with this statement because child can take as grow their knowledge and relax their mind. There are many reasons behind why television programs are essential to watch for children. The first and foremost is about learning through it. This is to say, if child inculcate their time in watching programs namely discoveries, geographical, history and many more, than they easily adopt the new information. Therefore, they develop their imaginary skills too. For instance, child cognitive skills mainly developed through visual contents. Thus, through this mass media any children enhance their knowledge. Furthermore, television has also provided different varieties of programs related to entertainment, animation and cartoon. In other words, children often see these channels in order to get entertainment. For example, when children get frustrated with academic lectures in school, they usually prefer to watch these programme to alleviate stress. Therefore, television programs may be beneficial for children and they get relaxation. However, although television gives fun and act as stress buster, it also affect health of children in some extent. To exemplify, owing to continuous watching of television they might have issue related to eyes and obesity. Thus, in some way it also bad for children. In conclusion, television programs considered as a pivotal for children because it can increase their learning and provide adequate joy. I recapitulate, children should watch television as a learning and fun purpose.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
child can take as grow their knowledge and relax their mind.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
first
and foremost is about learning through it. This is to say, if child inculcate their time in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
namely
discoveries, geographical, history and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, than they
easily
adopt the new information.
Therefore
, they develop their imaginary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
too.
For instance
, child cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
mainly
developed through visual contents.
Thus
, through this mass media any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enhance their knowledge.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
also
provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
related to entertainment, animation and cartoon.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these channels in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entertainment.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated with academic lectures in school, they
usually
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
to alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
may be beneficial for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxation.

However
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
gives fun and act as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster, it
also
Did you mean "affects"?
affect
health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. To exemplify, owing to continuous watching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
they might have issue related to eyes and obesity.
Thus
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for children.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
considered as a pivotal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can increase their learning and provide adequate joy. I recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as a learning and fun purpose.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not? Provide reasons and examples to support your response

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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