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Many people believe that social networking sites(such us Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and societyTo what extent do you agree with this statement? How far do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites(such us Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society How far 1DdN
These days, it is widely believed that social websites take a big part in human’s life, however, an increasing number of people tend to reckon that utilizing social networks has more disadvantages rather than advantages. Personally, I am completely against this idea, for the following reasons: an opportunity to work remotely and quickly find out valuable data. Notwithstanding that the majority of senior people find it arduous and adverse to use such websites due to the fact that it is plain sailing for them to send a letter or find out information which they need in a newspaper, instead of learning how to apply Facebook. Despite this, I personally feel that a plethora of people could find well-paid work on the internet. The reason why is that it would be more convenient and take less time in comparison with office work, where a job obligates you to work many hours without moving up the ladder. In addition, according to the research which was conducted in 2020, over 45% of people opt to operate online using social media apps and, as a result, their official salary significantly increases, whereas people who work offline waste approximately 2, 5 hours in order to get to the office and back. Another cause that makes me believe that using social websites is the right decision is because it is a good chance to for people owing to the fact that they could quickly obtain useful information, while for technophobes it would be quite a long process. For instance, instead of going through all archives in the library to seek the right article about this circumstance that happened a few years ago you can discover this data in a couple of minutes on the social network. Thus it makes clear that reading news from social media may make life much easier and you could find the latest newscasts. In conclusion, although it is a common belief that the Internet has more negative effects, in spite of this, I am entirely persuaded that the arguments I mentioned above outweigh this idea.
These days, it is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part in human’s life,
however
, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to reckon that utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks has more disadvantages
rather
than advantages.
Personally
, I am completely against this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, for the following reasons: an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
and
quickly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out valuable data.

Notwithstanding that the majority of senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it arduous and adverse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such websites due to the fact that it is plain sailing for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a letter or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out information which they need in a newspaper,
instead
of learning how to apply Facebook.

Despite this, I
personally
feel that a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on the internet. The reason why is that it would be more convenient and take less time
in comparison
with office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, where a job obligates you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours without moving up the ladder.
In addition
, according to the research which
was conducted
in 2020, over 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to operate online using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media apps and,
as a result
, their official salary
significantly
increases, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
offline waste approximately 2, 5 hours in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the office and back.

Another cause that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites is the right decision is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owing to the fact that they could
quickly
obtain useful information, while for technophobes it would be quite a long process.
For instance
,
instead
of going through all archives in the library to seek the right article about this circumstance that happened a few years ago you can discover this data in a couple of minutes on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that reading news from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life much easier and you could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the latest newscasts.

In conclusion
, although it is a common belief that the Internet has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this, I am
entirely
persuaded that the arguments I mentioned above outweigh this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites(such us Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society How far

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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