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Many people believe that social networking sites(Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree. v.2

Many people believe that the social networking platforms has drastically affected the individuals and as well as the whole society. However, others believe that these platforms have benefited us as well in many ways. This essay will enlighten both these aspects of social network platforms and I personally favours the former view i. e. it has overall put a negative impact on our personal and social life. There is no doubt that such platforms has completely broken the distance barriers. it gives us the leverage to connect and communicate with people globally and share the cultural and social values with each other. We are just one click away from any person across the globe and can seamlessly communicate with anyone and anywhere either using text or voice call or video call facility. Also, such platforms especially Facebook are also being used for advertisements thus people are growing their businesses. Also, these platforms keeps us in regular touch of our friends by seeing their events and posts online and appreciate them. Now, the reason why these platforms have a negative effect is the over indulgence by people into them. People of all walks of life are using them in so excess that they have dramatically affected and changed their life style completely. Today, most people prefers communicating online rather than in person because of the ease provided by technology. It may have removed the distance barriers but created a big social gap between people. Due to this, many people and even the children are suffering from mental health problems. In conclusion, Social networking platforms are very good and have many benefits if used wisely. However, these platforms have created a void in our social life and created a emotional and social barrier barrier between people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the individuals and
as well
as the whole society.
However
, others believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
have benefited us
as well
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. This essay will enlighten both these aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
and I
personally
The pronoun ‘I’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “favour”
favours
the former view
There should be no space here: “i.e.”.
i. e.
it has
overall
put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our personal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.

There is no doubt that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
has completely broken the distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barriers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
gives us the leverage to connect and communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
globally and share the cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values with each other. We are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click away from any person across the globe and can
seamlessly
communicate with anyone and anywhere either using text or voice call or video call facility.
Also
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
especially
Facebook are
also
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for advertisements
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are growing their businesses.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us in regular touch of our friends by seeing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and posts online and appreciate them.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the reason why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect is the over indulgence by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of all walks of life are using them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excess that they have
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
completely.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
prefers
communicating online
rather
than in person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
provided by technology. It may have removed the distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barriers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
created a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and even the children are suffering from mental health problems.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
have created a void in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life and created
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
emotional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrier
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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