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MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES (SUCH AS FACEBOOK) HAVE HAD A HUGE NEGATIVE IMPACT ON BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU BELIVE?

MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES (SUCH AS FACEBOOK) HAVE HAD A HUGE NEGATIVE IMPACT ON BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND SOCIETY. q6Yk5
IN THIS POMPOUS SOCIETY, SOCIAL MEIDA PLAYS ANN INEVITABLE TROLE. AN EVERLARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE BELIVE THAT SOCIAL NETWROKING SITESV HAVE NEGATIVELY INFLUENCED OUR NATION WHEREAS OTHERS PRESUME TAT PUBLIC NETWORKING IS QUITE ESSENTIAL. EVENTHOUGH, SOCIAL MEDIAS LIKE FACEBOOK HAVE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS, I STRONGLY AFFIRMTHAT SOCIAL NETWORKING HAVE POSITIVE IMPACT IN BOTH INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIETY. THE ENSUING PARAGRAPH WOULD ILLUMINATE THE SAME. INTIALLY, FACEBOOK ENABED PEOPLE TO CONNECT WITH EACH OTHER. TO EXPAND, THROUGH THESE WEBESITES PEOPLE CAN CREATEFRIENSHIP WITH PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD WHICH HELP THEM IN KNOWNING DIFFERENT CULTURES AND ACTIVITIES. MOREOVER, VIRTUAL MEDIA IS AN OPEN STAGE WHERE PEOPLE CAN HIGHLIGHT THEIR TALENTS. FACEBOOK IS A DAIS FOR PUPILS TO SHOW THEIR APTITUDE IN VARIOUS FIELDS SUCH AS DANCING, SINGING, COOKING AS WELL AS WRITING. FOR INSTANCE, IN INDIA, MAJORITY OF THE PROPLE NOWADYS RELY ON FACEBOOKTO EXPRESS THEIR SKILLS AND THEREBY ACHEIVING THEIR DREAMS. CONSEQUENTLY, PUBLIC MEDIA HAS GREAT INFLUENC EIN PEOPLE IN BOTH CREATING NEW FRIEND CIRCLE AND TO SHOW THEI TALENTS. IN ADDITION TO THIS, SOCIAL NETWORKING IS A PLATFORMFOR THE SOCIETY THUS PEOPLE CAN CONVEY THEIR GRATTITUDE OR PROTEST FOE A MENACE. TO ELABORATE, FACEBOOK IS A PUBLIC AREA WHERE PEOPLE CAN COMMUNICATE COMMON PROBLEMS SUCH ASWOMEN ABUSE, CORRUPTION, CHILD MORTALITY RAT, HOMICIDESS AND SO ON. THROUGH STRONGLY EXPRESSING THEIR VIEWS AND OPINIONS SMALL AMOUNT OF INCIDENCES CAN BE CONTROLED. REDUCED RAT OF CHILD ABUSMENT IS AN EPITOME FOR THIS. HOWEVER, THESE OPEN PLATFORM PAVED WAY TO CRUBE AND SOLVE CERTAIN PROBLEMS ARISING IN OUR SOCIETY. TO SUMUP, TECHNOLOGIES ARE IMPORTANT FOR DEVELOPING A NATION EHICH AIDS OUR CITIZRNS TO GROW. EVENTHOUGH USAGE OF SOCIAL MEDIAS HAS POSITIVE SIDES OVER USAGE OF THESE SITES HAS NEGATIVE EFFECTS WHICH SHOULD BE CONSIDERED AND MITIGATE THE USAGE.
IN THIS POMPOUS
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SOCIETY
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
MEIDA
PLAYS ANN INEVITABLE
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TROLE
. AN
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EVERLARGE
NUMBER OF
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PEOPLE
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BELIVE
THAT
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SOCIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
NETWROKING
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SITESV
HAVE
NEGATIVELY
INFLUENCED OUR NATION WHEREAS OTHERS PRESUME TAT PUBLIC NETWORKING IS QUITE ESSENTIAL.
Possible spelling mistake found.
EVENTHOUGH
,
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SOCIAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MEDIAS
LIKE FACEBOOK HAVE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS, I
STRONGLY
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AFFIRMTHAT
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SOCIAL
NETWORKING HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
IMPACT IN BOTH INDIVIDUAL AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIETY
. THE ENSUING PARAGRAPH WOULD ILLUMINATE THE SAME.
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTIALLY
, FACEBOOK
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ENABED
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PEOPLE
TO CONNECT WITH EACH OTHER. TO EXPAND, THROUGH THESE
Possible spelling mistake found.
WEBESITES
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PEOPLE
CAN
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CREATEFRIENSHIP
WITH
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PEOPLE
FROM
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DIFFERENT
PARTS OF THE WORLD WHICH
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HELP
THEM IN
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KNOWNING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
CULTURES AND ACTIVITIES.
MOREOVER
, VIRTUAL
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MEDIA
IS AN OPEN STAGE WHERE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN HIGHLIGHT THEIR TALENTS. FACEBOOK IS A DAIS FOR PUPILS TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
THEIR APTITUDE IN VARIOUS FIELDS SUCH AS DANCING, SINGING, COOKING
AS WELL
AS WRITING.
FOR INSTANCE
, IN INDIA,
It seems that an article is missing.
MAJORITY OF
THE
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PROPLE
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NOWADYS
RELY ON
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FACEBOOKTO
EXPRESS THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
AND THEREBY
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ACHEIVING
THEIR DREAMS.
CONSEQUENTLY
, PUBLIC
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MEDIA
HAS GREAT
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INFLUENC
EIN
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PEOPLE
IN BOTH CREATING NEW FRIEND CIRCLE AND TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
Possible spelling mistake found.
THEI
TALENTS.
IN ADDITION
TO THIS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
NETWORKING IS A
Possible spelling mistake found.
PLATFORMFOR
THE
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SOCIETY
THUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN CONVEY THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
GRATTITUDE
OR PROTEST FOE A MENACE. TO ELABORATE, FACEBOOK IS A PUBLIC AREA WHERE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN COMMUNICATE COMMON PROBLEMS SUCH
Possible spelling mistake found.
ASWOMEN
ABUSE, CORRUPTION, CHILD MORTALITY RAT,
Possible spelling mistake found.
HOMICIDESS
AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ON. THROUGH
STRONGLY
EXPRESSING THEIR VIEWS AND OPINIONS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SMALL
AMOUNT OF INCIDENCES CAN BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONTROLED
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCED
RAT OF CHILD
Possible spelling mistake found.
ABUSMENT
IS AN EPITOME FOR THIS.
HOWEVER
, THESE OPEN PLATFORM PAVED WAY TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
CRUBE
AND SOLVE CERTAIN PROBLEMS ARISING IN OUR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIETY
. TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUMUP
, TECHNOLOGIES ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
FOR DEVELOPING A NATION
Possible spelling mistake found.
EHICH
AIDS OUR
Possible spelling mistake found.
CITIZRNS
TO GROW.
Possible spelling mistake found.
EVENTHOUGH
USAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MEDIAS
HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
SIDES OVER USAGE OF THESE SITES HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
EFFECTS WHICH SHOULD
BE CONSIDERED
AND MITIGATE THE USAGE.
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IELTS essay MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES (SUCH AS FACEBOOK) HAVE HAD A HUGE NEGATIVE IMPACT ON BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND SOCIETY.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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