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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on people.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on people. GWlG2
It is obvious that, we cannot imagine our modern life without social networks. However, most of the people argue that, social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat have adverse effects on individuals. I totally agree with this opinion. First of all, social networking sites has deprived us of meeting and spending time with our friends or loved ones. Nowadays we spend most of our time on social networks. In this case, it cools and weakens our relationship with people. For instance, before the social networking sites’ era, people often met and interacted with each other. But, recently most of the individuals do not even know their acquaintances in real life. For example, if a person sees someone only on a social network, it may be possible not to recognize him or her when he or she sees that person in real life. This may be due to filters for special images on social networks. Moreover, social networking sites can distract us from the work we do and the goals we set for ourselves. This is because people waste their time in every field of social networks. They chat and post on Facebook or Instagram and thus they fail to concentrate on their jobs. For instance, pupils and students in higher education could not perform their best in their subjects or fail their exams because they spend more time online on the social networking sites instead of dealing with their lessons. It can lead to failure in their academic life and to see the consequences of these failures in their future lives. This can result in the failure of the development of environment. In conclusion, although social networking sites have some beneficial effects, I strongly agree with the argument that they have more harmful effects on individuals. I hope people will realize it and get used to life without social networks.
It is obvious that, we cannot imagine our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat have adverse effects on individuals. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
has deprived us of meeting and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our friends or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Nowadays we spend most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
.
In this case
, it cools and weakens our relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites’
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
met and interacted with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, recently most of the individuals do not even know their acquaintances in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
, it may be possible not to recognize him or her when he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
that person in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This may be due to filters for special images on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can distract us from the work we do and the goals we set for ourselves. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in every field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
. They chat and post on Facebook or Instagram and
thus
they fail to concentrate on their jobs.
For instance
, pupils and students in higher education could not perform their best in their subjects or fail their exams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
instead
of dealing with their lessons. It can lead to failure in their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the consequences of these failures in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This can result in the failure of the development of environment.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial effects, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that they have more harmful effects on individuals. I hope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will realize it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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