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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries has been becoming global, and it makes countries are developed faster and interesting, In terms of popualtion and mixture of nationalities. consequently If we visit national city which lives many foreigner. For example London or New York eat, you will be able to find various culture and food and clothes easily. However some countries are suffering with many immigrator. For instance, UK used to be erupian union, they had to received many refugee from poor country. They moved to UK and then stealing stuffs, sometimes, They did terror to innocent people, and that people had to die by terrorist. I don’t want to judge them. As a result of received many immigrator, UK was suffering from many immigrator. They made specific place which is china town, muslim town. And then local people has to move out from their specific place. Except for(Apart from this)problem, I totally agree with becomming global country. we are living in global generation that we never had before. Each countries has built close relationship and helping each other. For example eropian union helps each other then they have developed rapidly. It’s very complimantary for each country. In conclusion, we should make the rules which can prevent serious crime from immigration. And barriers between nations make lower without crime. Then the world will be peaceful then ever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You should probably use “have”.
has
been becoming global, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are developed
faster and interesting, In terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
popualtion
and mixture of nationalities.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consequently
If we visit national city which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigner.
For example
London or New York eat, you will be able to find various culture and food and clothes
easily
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are suffering with
Possible agreement error. The noun immigrator seems to be countable; consider using: “many immigrators”.
many immigrator
.

For instance
, UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
erupian
union, they had to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “receive”.
received
Possible agreement error. The noun refugee seems to be countable; consider using: “many refugees”.
many refugee
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to UK and then stealing stuffs,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, They did terror to innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
by terrorist. I don’t want to judge them.

As a result
of received
Possible agreement error. The noun immigrator seems to be countable; consider using: “many immigrators”.
many immigrator
, UK was suffering from
Possible agreement error. The noun immigrator seems to be countable; consider using: “many immigrators”.
many immigrator
. They made specific place which is china town,
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
town.

And then local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
has
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out from their specific place.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Except for
(Apart from this)problem, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
becomming
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
we
are living in global generation that we never had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

‘Each’, ‘every’, ‘either’ and ‘neither’ are used with singular. Did you mean “all”?
Each
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “country”?
countries
You should probably use “have”.
has
built close relationship and helping each other.
For example
Possible spelling mistake found.
eropian
union
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
Did you mean “other than”?
other then
they have developed
rapidly
.

It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
complimantary
for each country.

In conclusion
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
serious crime from immigration. And barriers between nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lower without crime.

Then the world will be peaceful then ever.
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IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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