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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. NQYm
Listening to music has become increasingly popular during the modern era. While a number of people are in opinion that modern music have detrimental effect while others do not agree to that fact. This essay will discuss why modern music can have constructive influence but why it can have more destructive results on the younger generation. Youth are more connected to the modern music as the most of the composers deal with contemporary situations that many face in day-to-day activities. Also, they use it to relax from the busy life style. For instance, a survey conducted concluded that with majority of modern day youth de-stress themselves with rap music. Hence, it is clear that modern era music does have some advantages for young. On the contrary, modern day music like jazz, rap can have damaging influence on the adolescent owing to the fact that the modern music lyrics are filled with unparliamentary and meaningless words. It is mostly composed of nudity and vulgarity to which teenagers get addicted and they tend to spoil their career. Moreover, it is often loud and unpleasant to ears when compared to traditional music. For example, most of the English pop songs are filled with obscenity which would definitely create adverse affects on teenagers lifestyle. This shows the ill effects of modern era music on young. Effect of the modern music is a debatable topic. This essay discussed why modern music has more cons when compared to the advantages it provides to the teenagers. In my opinion, it does have a substantial negative effect on the young minds.
Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has become
increasingly
popular during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era. While a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have detrimental effect while others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to that fact. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can have constructive influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it can have more destructive results on the younger generation.

Youth are more connected to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as the most of the composers deal with contemporary situations that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
face in day-to-day activities.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to relax from the busy life style.
For instance
, a survey conducted concluded that with majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
day youth de-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
themselves with rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for young.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like jazz, rap can have damaging influence on the adolescent owing to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lyrics
are filled
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
unparliamentary
and meaningless words. It is
mostly
composed of nudity and vulgarity to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
addicted and
they tend to spoil their career.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
loud and unpleasant to ears when compared to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For example
, most of the English pop songs
are filled
with obscenity which would definitely create adverse affects on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "teenagers'" or "teenager's"?
teenagers
lifestyle. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the ill effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on young.

Effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a debatable topic. This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has more cons when compared to the advantages it provides to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In my opinion, it does have a substantial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the young minds.

IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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