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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. 9LLn7
Music has changed its impact from decades to decades. Now a days, modern music appealing people & some of them believe that it will create negative impact while rest of them are on opposite part. In below essay I will discuss both points of views before reaching to an appropriate conclusion. Firstly, in recent time modern music means it will definitely include pop, jazz, hiphop & rap type of music as well as lyrics. All listed music types are high pitch music which are harmful for old aged people & also for small babies. Such hip-hop songs are played on high volume that will damage hearing senses & not acceptable by the society especially by old generation group. On the other hand, there are wide group of people who are seemed to be convinced by the fact that modern music will impact positively. For young group especially, popular music means interchanging of their thoughts which they can put together to make one rap line. Recently this is very common skill that anyone can be a musician with practice their hands with modern pop or jazz music. To support it with example, I’ve recently watched auto driver’s son won trophy in Indian idol with his rap making skill. In conclusion, in line with the views presented above it is evident that both arguments hold true to their respective position & sense of relevance. Both age groups of people have their own choice of music & we cannot change it. Though we should encourage new styles of music & maintain wealth of old music traditions, too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
its impact from decades to decades.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
appealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
&
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that it will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact while rest of them are on opposite part. In below essay I will discuss both points of views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to an appropriate conclusion.

Firstly
, in recent time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
means it will definitely include pop, jazz,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hiphop
& rap type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as well
as lyrics. All listed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
types are high pitch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which are harmful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
&
also
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
babies. Such hip-hop songs
are played
on high volume that will damage hearing senses & not acceptable by the society
especially
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation group.

On the other hand
, there are wide
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are seemed
to
be convinced
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will impact
positively
. For young group
especially
, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
means interchanging of their thoughts which they can put together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one rap line. Recently this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that anyone can be a musician with practice their hands with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
pop or jazz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. To support it with example, I’ve recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
auto driver’s son won trophy in Indian idol with his rap making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

In conclusion
, in line with the views presented above it is evident that both arguments hold true to their respective position & sense of relevance. Both age groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
& we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it. Though we should encourage new styles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
& maintain wealth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
traditions, too.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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