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Many people believe that family has a greater influence on a child's life and development than other factors,such as friends,Tv,music and so on

Many people believe that family has a greater influence on a child's life and development than other factors, such as friends, Tv, music and so on 2beMX
Many individuals think that family has greater responsibility towards a child's growth and development than other things for example, friends, tv, music and others. I totally agree with that statement bacause, family help them how to becoming independent and they show the right way. To begin with, child's spend most of their time with their family which means they have more potential of learning skills and lessons from their parents rather than any of the friends or tv. After learning life skills from their parents they slowly become independent and they know how to make new friends or doing hometasks without parents. For example, many parents take their children to school on their own and this support gives them more motivation to study. Parents always show the right way to their children in any situation. Because many youngers has problems with making friends or they can't doing their hometasks in that situation parents help them how to doing that actions. Furthmore family members like maother and father are known experienced and they can really show their children the right way. For example, 80% of students in primary schools face bullying and more than 50% of these situations are often solved by their family. In conclusion, i believe that family really has a better influence in a child's life and they always show the right way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has greater responsibility towards a child's growth and development than other things
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement
Possible spelling mistake found.
bacause
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them how to becoming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
independent and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Consider using the plural form here: "childs".
child's
spend most of their time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which means they have more potential of learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and lessons from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than any of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
. After learning life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they
slowly
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
independent and
they know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
hometasks
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take their children to school on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and this support gives them more motivation to study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way to their children in any situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
has problems with making
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends or
they can't
The verb 'can't' requires base form of this verb: "do"
doing
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hometasks
in that situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them how to doing that actions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthmore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members like
Possible spelling mistake found.
maother
and father
are known
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experienced and
they can
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their children the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way.
For example
, 80% of students in primary schools face bullying and more than 50% of these situations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
solved by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
really
has a better influence in a child's
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that family has a greater influence on a child's life and development than other factors, such as friends, Tv, music and so on

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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