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Many people believe that all cities and towns should have large public spaces

Many people believe that all cities and towns should have large public spaces bODEQ
With the acceleration of population growth, high-rise buildings are constantly mushrooming as opposed to the lack of public spaces in big cities. However, there is a school of thought that municipal governments should invest substantially in erecting vast outdoor public spaces, and I am in total agreement on this question for three main reasons. To begin with, large public spaces could help improve the quality of the environment. Because such places are generally filled with a large number of trees, which regulate air temperature and absorb atmospheric pollutants. According to a study conducted in Viet Nam, for every 10% increase in the number of parks and gardens, the level of air pollution will decrease by 20%. In this way, the contamination degree of air, water would be ameliorated. In addition, it is undeniable that public spaces are highly beneficial to the well-being of communities. There are many parks, gardens and squares that offer an abundance of freely accessible facilities which promote a positive change to people’s sedentary lifestyle. Public spaces in Hanoi, for example, typically provide city dwellers with free exercise equipments and fitness activities. As a result, residents in the vicinity of these places tend to exercise more regularly. Furthermore, ample public spaces might generate revenue and stimulate local economies. It is because constructing attractive outdoor public spaces would enhance the beauty of the city which is likely to draw attention from various tourists. Times Square in New York City, for example, attracts millions of visitors a year, and it is considered one of the major economic drivers for the city. Consequently, the shortage of city budget is highly likely to be solved. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that enormous public spaces bring considerable benefits to local communities. The authorities should be cognizant of these advantages and invest heavily in constructing outdoor public places.
With the acceleration of population growth, high-rise buildings are
constantly
mushrooming as opposed to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that municipal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest
substantially
in erecting vast outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
, and I am in total agreement on this question for three main reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
such places are
generally
filled with
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
trees, which regulate air temperature and absorb atmospheric pollutants. According to a study conducted in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, for every 10% increase in the number of parks and gardens, the level of air pollution will decrease by 20%. In this way, the contamination degree of air, water would
be ameliorated
.

In addition
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
are
highly
beneficial to the well-being of communities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parks, gardens and squares that offer an abundance of
freely
accessible facilities which promote a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s sedentary lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in Hanoi,
for example
,
typically
provide city dwellers with free exercise equipments and fitness activities.
As a result
, residents in the vicinity of these places tend to exercise more
regularly
.

Furthermore
, ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
might generate revenue and stimulate local economies. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
constructing attractive outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
would enhance the beauty of the city which is likely to draw attention from various tourists. Times Square in New York City,
for example
, attracts millions of visitors a year, and it
is considered
one of the major economic drivers for the city.
Consequently
, the shortage of city budget is
highly
likely to
be solved
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
bring considerable benefits to local communities. The authorities should be cognizant of these advantages and invest
heavily
in constructing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that all cities and towns should have large public spaces

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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