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Many people argue that for an enormous amount of money, Stead of both governments and individuals using it to protect animals and their environment, this money should be spent solving problems in community like poverty and the health care system

Many people argue that for an enormous amount of money, Stead of both governments and individuals using it to protect animals and their environment, this money should be spent solving problems in community like poverty and the health care system pa1j2
Many people argue that for an enormous amount of money, Stead of both governments and individuals using it to protect animals and their environment, this money should be spent solving problems in community like poverty and the health care system. However, I support the latter opinion and justification are as follows. On the one hand, Caring for animals and their habitat is essential, but it's not a priority. It depends on people’s awareness a lot due to animal’s life and their environment more and more be threatened by those who illegally hunt animals and cut down forests. For instance, There are twenty-nine thousand square kilometers of the forest are cut down per day and the animal in the red book has slowly become extinct. This makes the ecosystem are imbalanced. The best solution that the government can do about this is to take strict action against those who break the law On the other hand, Poverty and the health care system is a long-standing dilemma that people need to solve. Especially during this covid 19 pandemic, the infrastructure of many hospitals is increasingly degraded, many patients are not accepted for treatment. Africa, For example, The number of people starving to death due to lack of food and water is increasing day by day. peaking at 155 million deaths in 2020. the care system with machines is so outdated that many diseases cannot be treated, meanwhile, the thirst for oxygen has spread everywhere by lack of air tank. In conclusion, while protecting animal and their habitat is not without certain benefits, I would contend that human life and health come first
Many
people
argue that for an enormous amount of money, Stead of both
governments
and individuals using it to protect
animals
and their environment, this money should
be spent
solving problems in community like poverty and the health care system.
However
, I support the latter opinion and justification are as follows.

On the one hand, Caring for
animals
and their habitat is essential,
but
it's not a priority. It depends on
people’s
awareness a lot due to
animal’s
life and their environment more and more
be threatened
by those who
illegally
hunt
animals
and
cut
down forests.
For instance
, There are twenty-nine thousand square kilometers of the forest are
cut
down per day and the
animal
in the red book has
slowly
become extinct. This
makes
the ecosystem
are imbalanced
. The best solution that the
government
can do about this is to take strict action against those who break the
law


On the other hand
, Poverty and the health care system is a long-standing dilemma that
people
need to solve.
Especially
during this
covid 19
pandemic, the infrastructure of
many
hospitals is
increasingly
degraded,
many
patients are not
accepted
for treatment. Africa,
For example
, The number of
people
starving to death due to lack of food and water is increasing day by day.
peaking
at 155 million deaths in 2020.
the
care system with machines is
so
outdated that
many
diseases cannot
be treated
, meanwhile, the thirst for oxygen has spread everywhere by lack of air tank.

In conclusion
, while protecting
animal
and their habitat is not without certain benefits, I would contend that human life and health
come
first
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IELTS essay Many people argue that for an enormous amount of money, Stead of both governments and individuals using it to protect animals and their environment, this money should be spent solving problems in community like poverty and the health care system

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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