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MANY PEOPLE ARE WORKING LONGER HOURS. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHAT PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE TO PEOPLE?

MANY PEOPLE ARE WORKING LONGER HOURS. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHAT PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE TO PEOPLE? ljlxD
One of the most striking features of these days is working longer hours. Responding to this statement, the essay will provide not only the principal cause of this phenomenon but also the main issue affecting people. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people are working more than before. First, people tend to work extra hours to receive a high income which will improve their life better. In fact, employees has worked not only eight hours a day but also remotely through applications such as Zoom, Skype and so on recently, which offers boundless opportunities to not only the manager’s expectation but also finish the workload for the day. Second, since living standards are increasing day by day, dwellers might face financial problems. Therefore, people who earn a high salary are more likely to provide quality education, healthcare, or other essential facilities to their family's demand. On the other hand, working hard during the long term without relaxation could lead to adverse physical and mental health problems. First, most workers have had a passive lifestyle and spent the majority of the day sitting at a desk, which causes common diseases in the part of offices, such as back pain, obesity, and weak resistance. Second, research has shown that the concentration of cortisol in the blood increases significantly in the brain, which causes diseases, such as depression and anxiety, and general unhappiness when they do not take a break. In conclusion, working overtime than standard hours of work is becoming a trend today. Although people try their best to have a better life, some serious consequences may be both psychological and physical implications. To address this issue, individuals should control their working time to balance work and healthy life effectively.
One of the most striking features of these days is
working
longer
hours
. Responding to this statement, the essay will provide not
only
the principal cause of this phenomenon
but
also
the main issue affecting
people
.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
are
working
more than
before
.
First
,
people
tend to work extra
hours
to receive a high income which will
improve
their life better. In fact, employees has worked not
only
eight
hours
a day
but
also
remotely
through applications such as Zoom, Skype and
so
on recently, which offers boundless opportunities to not
only
the manager’s expectation
but
also
finish the workload for the day. Second, since living standards are increasing day by day, dwellers might face financial problems.
Therefore
,
people
who earn a high salary are more likely to provide quality education, healthcare, or other essential facilities to their family's demand.

On the other hand
,
working
hard
during the long term without relaxation could lead to adverse physical and mental health problems.
First
, most workers have had a passive lifestyle and spent the majority of the day sitting at a desk, which causes common diseases in the part of offices, such as back pain, obesity, and weak resistance. Second, research has shown that the concentration of cortisol in the blood increases
significantly
in the brain, which causes diseases, such as depression and anxiety, and general unhappiness when they do not take a break.

In conclusion
,
working
overtime
than standard
hours
of work is becoming a trend
today
. Although
people
try their best to have a better life,
some
serious consequences may be both psychological and physical implications. To address this issue, individuals should control their
working
time to balance work and healthy life
effectively
.
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IELTS essay MANY PEOPLE ARE WORKING LONGER HOURS. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHAT PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE TO PEOPLE?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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