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explain the two most important effects of social media on teenagers

explain the two most important effects of social media on teenagers PVj5w
Two most important effects of social media on teenagers are low academic achievement and health problems. The first one is that social media addicts may display poor academic performance in school. Teenagers who use social media excessively do not have adequate time to fulfill their assignments because they cannot get away from their electronic gadgets, such as mobile phones and tablets, which enable them to use social platforms. Moreover, they can prefer to spend their time on social networking websites, such as Instagram and Twitter, instead of listening to their teacher in the classroom. Due to loss of focus on lessons, they get low grades in exams. As a result of social media addiction, they may encounter educational failure. The second effect of social media on teenagers is that excessive use of social media leads to health problems. Teenagers who use social media too much go to bed late, and thus they cannot get enough sleep. Furthermore, if they persist in this way of life, they may face sleep problems, such as insomnia and sleep deprivation, which adversely affect their energy. For this reason, they are inclined to be impatient with their family or friends. Consequently, they can lose contact with people around them because of negative attitudes towards the social circle. In brief, using social media is responsible for academic underachievement and health issues.
Two most
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important
effects of
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
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teenagers
are low academic achievement and health problems. The
first
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addicts may display poor academic performance in school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
excessively
do not have adequate time to fulfill their assignments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from their electronic gadgets, such as mobile phones and tablets, which enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms.
Moreover
, they can prefer to spend their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites, such as Instagram and Twitter,
instead
of listening to their teacher in the classroom. Due to loss of focus on lessons, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low grades in exams.
As a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction, they may encounter educational failure. The second effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
is that excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
leads to health problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
too much go to bed late, and
thus
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sleep.
Furthermore
, if they persist in this way of life, they may face sleep problems, such as insomnia and sleep deprivation, which
adversely
affect their energy.
For this reason
, they
are inclined
to be impatient with their family or friends.
Consequently
, they can lose contact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle.
In brief
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is responsible for academic underachievement and health issues.
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IELTS essay explain the two most important effects of social media on teenagers

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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