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Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime. Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done What are your views? Give reasons foryOur answer

Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime. Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done What are your views? Give reasons foryOur answer OVr7N
In this growing world there are a plethora of individuals who fear to leave there home due to rising crime cases. While there are few people who believe that praiseworthy steps can be taken to prevent crimes. Whereas as some others think that no special attention is needed. This essay will intend to analyze both the views along with my perspective. To commence with, in this world where technology is getting more and more advance at the same time the number of people who are scared to stepping into this modern era is rising rapidly. While some people feel it is vital to take action to stop this. In other words, as the crime rates are going up with surge and this is mainly due to the fact of technology as criminals can gain access to any onces information extremely easily. For instance, the headline of ' The Moscow Times' revealed that last year a woman was murdered while taking help from her social media accounts. Consequently to tackle with this government is trying to build a secure environment. Furthermore, although regardless the decisions which are been taken by government worldwide to control this kind of activities. There are a number of people who say nothing can be done to prevent the happening of crimes. To explicate, it is been widely spread around the globe that we can do nothing about the crimes instead of learning and preparing to live with it as it is stated that with the increasing technology risks also get more. To conclude, I would like to say that nothing is impossible to achieve even though some are currently believing it is waste to invest in preventing crimes.
In this growing world there are a plethora of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
fear to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
there home due to rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that praiseworthy steps can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that no special attention
is needed
. This essay will intend to analyze both the views along with my perspective. To commence with, in this world where technology is getting more and more advance at the same time the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are scared
to stepping into this modern era is rising
rapidly
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel it is vital to take action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this.
In other words
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are going up with surge and this is
mainly
due to the fact of technology as criminals can gain access to any
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "onces'" or "once's"?
onces
information
extremely
easily
.
For instance
, the headline of
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
The Moscow Times' revealed that last year a woman
was murdered
while taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from her social media accounts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
to tackle with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying to build a secure environment.

Furthermore
, although regardless the decisions which
are been
taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
worldwide to control this kind of activities. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
say nothing can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the happening of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. To explicate, it
is been
widely
spread around the globe that we can do nothing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
instead
of learning and preparing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with it as it
is stated
that with the increasing technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more.

To conclude
, I would like to say that nothing is impossible to achieve
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
currently
believing it is waste to invest in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime. Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done What are your views? Give reasons foryOur answer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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