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many older people say that younger people have never had it so great, while younger people argue that it is harder that ever for them to survive in the modern world. Discuss both views.

many older people say that younger people have never had it so great, while younger people argue that it is harder that ever for them to survive in the modern world. 3aJGl
In the past few decades, due to the technological evolution, the standards of life, in developed countries, have dramatically increased. As a result, a lot of elderly people claim that we have an easier life than the one they had in their time, but younger people argue that, this is not the case. In my opinion, both statements are relatively true and in this essay I will explain why. Firstly, in older times, most jobs required your physical presence and muscular power. Due to this, individuals would be physically exerted, do the long labour hours, usually in big factories in the early 20th century. For example, from my own experience, my grandfather used to be a blue collar worker, and due to the immense amount of muscle pain he had from working all those years, he was forced to stay in bed from the age of 50. Finally, in this time period, public transport was limited to the interior of big cities, which revoked the opportunity for people living in rural areas finding a workspace. Nowadays, the difficulties for an individual to find a job are ever increasing and the consequences for his mental health could be catastrophic. In order to follow your desired career, you are required to accumulate years and years of studies, because of the specialisation that is needed. Consequently, the immense amount of studying, the increase tempo of everyday activity and the heavy workload may lead to leave a mental scar in a person’s life. To illustrate, a study carried out by the university of Cambridge, showed that, more than 40% of Londoners are mentally drained due to their work. On the other hand, everyday tasks for most people have become easier in contrast to the past due to the technological advancements that make travelling and communicating a lot easier. In conclusion, there are difficulties in all ages, regarding the daily chores and responsibilities. But it’s my firm belief that, every individual should be flexible in his time and exploit the advantages it has to offer.
In the past few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the technological evolution, the standards of life, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, have
dramatically
increased.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that we have an easier life than the one they had in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that, this is not the case. In my opinion, both statements are
relatively
true and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

Firstly
, in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, most jobs required your physical presence and muscular power.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this, individuals would be
physically
exerted, do the long
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
hours,
usually
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factories in the early 20th century.
For example
, from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, my grandfather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a blue collar worker, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the immense amount of muscle pain he had from working all those years, he
was forced
to stay in bed from the age of 50.
Finally
, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period, public transport
was limited
to the interior of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, which revoked the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in rural areas finding a workspace.

Nowadays, the difficulties for an individual to find a job are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
and the consequences for his mental health could be catastrophic. In order to follow your desired career, you
are required
to accumulate years and years of studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisation' is British English.
specialisation
that
is needed
.
Consequently
, the immense amount of studying, the increase tempo of everyday activity and the heavy workload may lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a mental scar in a person’s life. To illustrate, a study carried out by the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Cambridge
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, more than 40% of Londoners are mentally drained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their work.
On the other hand
, everyday tasks for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become easier
in contrast
to the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the technological advancements that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
travelling and communicating a lot easier.

In conclusion
, there are difficulties in all ages, regarding the daily chores and responsibilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it’s my firm belief that, every individual should be flexible in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and exploit the advantages it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer.

IELTS essay many older people say that younger people have never had it so great, while younger people argue that it is harder that ever for them to survive in the modern world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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