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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Every country’s criminal justice system forcefully confines an offender or criminal to a correctional facility as a punishment for the crime committed. However, it is observed that a large number of these criminals who serve their first prison sentence, leave prison only to reoffend. There are several contributing factors that leads to this. However, to address it, scrupulous measures can be taken by the government to ultimately solve this problem. Firstly, the reason for most first-time offenders committing crimes again once they have been released from prison is due to lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, offenders are not given a chance to develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and instead they are mixed with other criminals, which only strengthens their criminal intentions. Secondly, repeat offending is also owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to committing a crime, robbery for instance, regardless of the consequences. There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle this is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the opportunity to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing this, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in the society. This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched. In conclusion, having training in prison and also close observation when first time offenders are released are effective in dealing with the issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.
Every country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
justice system
forcefully
confines an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offender
or criminal

to a correctional facility as a punishment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed.
However
, it
is observed
that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who serve their
first
prison

sentence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
. There are several contributing factors

that leads to this.
However
, to address it, scrupulous measures can
be taken
by

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
ultimately
solve this problem.

Firstly
, the reason for most
first
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again once

they have
been released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is due to lack of rehabilitation whilst in

prison.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to develop a deeper

understanding of correct moral
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
instead
they
are mixed
with other

criminals, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
strengthens their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intentions.
Secondly
, repeat

offending is
also
owing to the difficulty in finding employment after
being released
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them struggle
financially
which leads them back to

committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, robbery
for instance
, regardless of the consequences.

There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
. One way to

tackle this is to ensure that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to

retrain with useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will
hopefully
ensure them a job after they have

served their sentence. By doing this, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them reintegrate back into society

and give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
means of supporting themselves
financially
. Another method of

dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
is to have more supervision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
in place

when they are back in the society. This solution would
hopefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from

taking any chances and deter them from
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


closely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
.

In conclusion
, having training in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and
also
close observation when
first
time

offenders
are released
are effective in dealing with the issue. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments


implemented these solutions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
figures would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
drop.
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IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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