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Many offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishment. Why this is happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

On the one hand, crime is a major issue all over the world, while the crime rates has been increasing by leaps and bounds. A segment of society consider hard to inhibit it. Because, there are several reasons that criminals often committing crime. First and foremost is the lack of education and understanding. Due to this, they may be unaware and indulged in such activities even though sometimes facing a lot of dilemma. To explain it further, criminals offend because of less knowledge about surroundings. It is obvious that offenders are financially weak in condition, so they may not grasped better education. Owing to this, they are sometimes easily misled by others. Hence, they may not be afraid of doing crime. Therefore, after being punished they have been reoffend the crime. On the other hand, there are many different pragmatic on the best way to alleviate crime. Firstly, government must run awareness campaign to reduce the rate of crime among youngsters and provide free education system to them. After taking better education from Universities or school, they might understand about such things; though education provides them knowledge to tackle these tricky conditions. In this way, they certainly improves their living standard and understand not to indulge in such things. With the education and knowledge, they improves their overall habits. Meanwhile, providing better education to them can be resulted in removing the causes of crime. In conclusion, it can be summarised that, because lack of education, people may be unaware about the consequences while doing crime, whereas providing better education system to them, they improve themselves and understand not to commit crim. So, in this way, the crime can be deter.
On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a major issue all over the world, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates has been increasing by leaps and bounds. A segment of society consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to inhibit it.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, there are several reasons that criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
First
and foremost is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and understanding. Due to this, they may be unaware and indulged in such activities
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
facing
Possible agreement error. The noun dilemma seems to be countable; consider using: “a lot of dilemmas”.
a lot of dilemma
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it
further
, criminals offend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less knowledge about surroundings. It is obvious that offenders are
financially
weak in condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may not
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
grasped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Owing to this, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
easily
misled by others.
Hence
, they may not be afraid of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Therefore
, after
being punished
they have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “pragmatics”?
pragmatic
on the best way to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
run awareness campaign to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among youngsters and provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system to them. After taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from Universities or school, they might understand about such things; though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides them knowledge to tackle these tricky conditions. In this way, they
certainly
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “improve”
improves
their living standard and understand not to indulge in such things. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and knowledge, they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “improve”
improves
their
overall
habits. Meanwhile, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to them can
be resulted
in removing the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In conclusion
, it can be
Possible spelling mistake. ‘summarised’ is British English.
summarised
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may be unaware about the
The usual preposition to use after “consequences” is not “while”. Did you mean “consequences of”, “consequences for”, or “consequences on”?
consequences while
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whereas providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system to them, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and understand not to commit
Possible spelling mistake found.
crim
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
Consider using the past participle “deterred”.
deter
.
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IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishment. Why this is happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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