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Many museums charge for admission while few others are free. Do the advantages of charging a fee outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Many museums charge for admission while few others are free. Do the advantages of charging a fee outweigh its disadvantages? awAK9
The place where all the old stories, theories and evidences of a certain place, event or time lies is the museum. For being able to showcase the valuables to the tourists most museums charges admission while few others are free. Thus, the issue on charging fee is advantageous or disadvantageous is debatable and I will elucidate my opinion on which outweighs more further in the essay. The museums charges fee for the entry purpose of tourists. This is because only the people who are really interested can explore the place along with the facilities provided by the museums. Many museums also charge fees so as to they can maintain the infrastructure of the museums properly in order to attract more visitors. The admission that the museums charge might help in providing visitors a more comfortable and memorable experience. Though, the poor people who wants to visit cannot visit due to the fees charged. While the few other museums who does not charge admission are accessible to everyone without the discrimination. More people can explore and visit without restrictions. Though these are the only few advantages of visiting museums not charging fees. These places would not be maintained properly as the place is run only on small amount of funds provided by government. The tourists might not get a proper guide which are provided to the rest of the museums. The facility and luxury might be questionable due to improper maintenance So, in sum, according to me, the advantages of charging fees in museum outweighs its disadvantages. Charging fees only helps in providing a good experience of tourists and also preserving the valuables in the museum. The memorable visit would only encourage and attract more tourists.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
stories, theories and evidences of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
or time lies is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. For being able to showcase the valuables to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charges
admission while few others are free.
Thus
, the issue on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is advantageous or disadvantageous is debatable and I will elucidate my opinion on which outweighs more
further
in the essay.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You should probably use "charge".
charges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
for the entry purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
really
interested can explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
along with the facilities provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
they can maintain the infrastructure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
properly
in order to attract more visitors. The admission that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in providing visitors a more comfortable and memorable experience.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
wants
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
charged.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the few other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'museums' should be used.
does
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
admission are accessible to everyone without the discrimination. More
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can explore and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
without restrictions.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
these are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
few advantages of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would not
be maintained
properly
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of funds provided by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper guide which
are provided
to the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. The facility and luxury might be questionable due to improper
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
maintenance


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in sum, according to me, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
outweighs its disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
also
preserving the valuables in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. The memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
encourage and attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
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IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while few others are free. Do the advantages of charging a fee outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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