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Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. BJ7eX
It is true that more and more high street shops have been disappeared. The development of Internet is the biggest reason of this problem. In my point-view, it not only brings positive effects but also negative ones. We can not deny the obvious benefits of shopping online. It is very convinient. Where else you can comfortably shop at midnight while in your pyjamas? You needn't to catch a bus or drive your car, needn't to get dressed. Therefore, the environment pollution will reduce and time will not be wasted. Moreover, shopping online provides us better prices. There are always many deals and lower-prices online because products are delivered to you direct from the manufacturers or sellers without involving middlemen. You can compare prices so it is easier for you to find the best deal. Finally, when shop at home, you are not afraid of traffic accidents or robbers. It is actually much safer. The disappearance of high street shops have many advantages. Firstly, it encourages retail companies to shift their business focus to catch up with technology development. Secondly, it offers more ways to shop for customers. On the other hand, this phenomenon also has many negative effects. It leads to the reduction of employment opportunity so the unemployment rate will raise. Besides, shopping center is a place for people to hang out with their friends and family. Thus, its disappearance causes the fact that people have fewer point to go out and they become more and more closed. Finally, shopping online means people spend more time on their smart phone or computer. Phone addiction will increase while mental health will decrease. In conclusion, the disappearance of many shop is both a good and bad thing.
It is true that more and more high street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have
been disappeared
. The development of Internet is the biggest reason of this problem. In my point-view, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.

We can not deny the obvious benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
. Where else you can
comfortably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
at midnight while in your
Possible spelling mistake. 'pyjamas' is British English.
pyjamas
? You needn't
Did you mean "catch"?
to catch
a bus or drive your car, needn't to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dressed.
Therefore
, the environment pollution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and time will not
be wasted
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides us better prices. There are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deals and lower-prices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
products
are delivered
to you direct from the manufacturers or sellers without involving middlemen. You can compare prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is easier for you to find the best deal.
Finally
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
at home, you are not afraid of traffic accidents or robbers. It is actually much safer.

The disappearance of high street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
Firstly
, it encourages retail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to shift their business focus to catch up with technology development.
Secondly
, it offers more ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
for customers.

On the other hand
, this phenomenon
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. It leads to the reduction of employment opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the unemployment rate will raise.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center is a place for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to hang out with their friends and family.
Thus
, its disappearance causes the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have fewer point to go
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out and
they become more and more closed.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more time on their smart phone or computer. Phone addiction will increase while mental health will decrease.

In conclusion
, the disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is both a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing.
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IELTS essay Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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