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many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Drrm
Lots of governments consider economic progress as their most important goal. Some people believe that some types of progress should be equally important. I agree with the second idea. I admit that the economic process is an important goal. Governments have the responsibility to help people leaving in poverty. In a country with a well-developed economy, more and more people will become richer. They will be satisfied with the government since their life quality is improved. What's more, economic development can attract investment, which can be used in further construction. However, other types of progress are important as well. There are some basic areas which are as important as the development of the economy. For example, technology development is important for a country. On the one side, technology can help people free from their busy life. On the other side, development in technology improves economic advance because it can earn a large amount of wealth. Medicine is another area which is really needed to be developed. Men cannot buy health no matter how much wealth they owned. There are many patients who are suffering from the disease but cannot be cured, so government should consider developing a health system as one of the most important goals. What's more, better medical treatment can let people live longer, so they can contribute more to society. In conclusion, although the economic building is important, some types of process, such as science and medicine research, is as important as economic advance since money cannot buy everything.
Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress as their most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
goal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of progress should be
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

I admit that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
process is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
goal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
have the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leaving in poverty. In a country with a well-developed economy, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become richer. They will
be satisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
since their life quality is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. What's more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
can attract investment, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
further
construction.

However
, other types of progress are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as well
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic areas which are as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the economy.
For example
, technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a country. On the one side, technology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
free from their busy life. On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can earn a large amount of wealth. Medicine is another area which is
really
needed to
be developed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
health no matter how much wealth they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patients who are suffering from the disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
be cured
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider developing a health system as one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
goals. What's more, better medical treatment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can contribute more to society.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
building is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of process, such as science and medicine research, is as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advance since money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything.
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IELTS essay many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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