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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it? Lngr
In various countries the ratio of crime is getting high and it is become more violent. There are two major reasons that make a crime more violent. On the other hand with minor strict law differences and by education system this could change. It is a fact that, people in various countries aware of increasing level of crime. There are many reasons that explain causes of crimes. One of them is, increasing level of violent based TV shows, movies, and especially computer games. In recent years, technological device taken an important place in the people life. The people that spend a lot of time in front of TV or computer, come across with violent based programmes. So, that makes them more agressive, and for that reason they are aten in crime. On the other hand, in many countries ratio of poverty is getting high everyday. It is the second reason that make people to atend in crime. For instance, poverty makes people through violent such as, steal somebody is valuable stuffs, this could even be food. As a result, these things occur crime level high. According to my knowledge, there are distinctive solutions that could decrease the level of crime. Firstly, education in schools that ought to teach to young generation adverse results of crime. For example, teachers have to explain that the violent based computer games is not a reality. So, children should not give an example such attitudes. Secondly, the main duty falls into governments. The government should make a punishment to companies that publish the violent based TV shows or movies. For instance, giving a money punishment to companies that especially sell violent video games to children, could decrease the crime level in the future. As a consequences, by involving government strict and education system this might be done for next generation. In conclusion, parents should find a way to preserve their kids from violent or crime atend activities.
In various countries the ratio of
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crime
is getting high and it
is become
more
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violent
. There are two major
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reasons
that
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make
a
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crime
more
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violent
.
On the other hand
with minor strict law differences and by education system this could
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change
. It is a fact that,
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people
in various countries aware of increasing
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level
of
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crime
. There are
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many
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reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
causes of
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crimes
. One of them is, increasing
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level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
based TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies, and
especially
computer games. In recent years, technological device taken an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in the
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people
life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in front of TV or computer,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across with
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violent
based
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programmes
.
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So
, that
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makes
them more
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agressive
, and for that
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reason
they
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are aten
in
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crime
.
On the other hand
, in
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many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
ratio of poverty is getting high
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. It is the second
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reason
that
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make
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people
to
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atend
in
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crime
.
For instance
, poverty
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makes
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people
through
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violent
such as, steal somebody is valuable stuffs, this could even be food.
As a result
, these things occur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
high. According to my knowledge, there are distinctive solutions that could decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Firstly
, education in schools that ought to teach to young generation adverse results of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
based computer games is not a reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, children should not give an example such attitudes.
Secondly
, the main duty falls into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
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make
a punishment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that publish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
based TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or movies.
For instance
, giving a money punishment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
especially
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
video games to children, could decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in the future. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
, by involving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
strict and education system this might
be done
for
next
generation.
In conclusion
, parents should find a way to preserve their kids from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
Possible spelling mistake found.
atend
activities.
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IELTS essay In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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