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Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

To enhance the standard of people's lives, many authorities in the world, spending a huge amount of money on art. Whereas, others suggest that if would be extremely good if they spend on other things like developing infrastructure rather than art. I strongly believe that spending money on useful things for the community would be recommended instead art. This essay will discuss both sides of the thesis statement by taking examples from newspapers and journals. To begin with, art has a significant positive impact on people's well-being, and many governments across the globe investing huge amount on it. Arts like music and dance has brought a massive change in people's lifestyle. This is because art has the ability to change the emotions and brings positivity among people. For instance, countries like Japan, India, and China government officially organise an exhibition to show the public about the artists skills and honour them with prizes to encourage them. In fact, in 2017 the Indian government announced 5 million annually to teach different art skills for school children where they can develop cognitive skills. Secondly, art loving and understanding people throughout the world is limited, and governments spending huge amounts on this is completely unfair. As a matter of fact, there are many essential things like developing parks and upgrading road systems which could be more beneficial to the country. For example, recently Japan instead of the arts, this time government allocated 2 million for developing essential things in the community. As a result, this change brought a drastic change in people's well-being, now they have good road and water facilities to every household in Japan. In conclusion, I firmly believe that art is an essential in our day to day life and governments should spend money on it. However, it should be very little, this is because not everyone shows interest in arts and governments spending huge amounts is a waste of public's tax money. Instead they can develop essential things in the community.
To enhance the standard of
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people's
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lives
,
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many
authorities in the world,
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spending
a
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huge
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amount
of
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money
on
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art
. Whereas, others suggest that if would be
extremely
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good
if they spend on other things like developing infrastructure
rather
than
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art
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on useful things for the community would
be recommended
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. This essay will discuss both sides of the thesis statement by taking examples from newspapers and journals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
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people's
well-being, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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governments
across the globe investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
on it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
like music and dance has brought a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
lifestyle. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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art
has the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the emotions and brings positivity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, countries like Japan, India, and China
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government
officially
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
an exhibition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the public about the artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
them with prizes to encourage them. In fact, in 2017 the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
announced 5 million
annually
to teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for school children where they can develop cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
,
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art
loving and understanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout the world
is limited
, and
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governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
on this is completely unfair. As a matter of fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
things like developing parks and upgrading road systems which could be more beneficial to the country.
For example
, recently Japan
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, this time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
allocated 2 million for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
things in the community.
As a result
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
brought a drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
well-being,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
road and water facilities to every household in Japan.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
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art
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life and
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governments
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it.
However
, it should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
is a waste of public's tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
they can develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
things in the community.
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IELTS essay Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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