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Initially island was in its raw form and had no attractions for the tourists.

Initially island was in its raw form and had no attractions for the tourists. But recently there has been many modifications and installations at the said place. By constructing a pier island has been made accessible for the tourists via a boat. Along with accessibility, the aesthetics of the site has also been addressed well i. e. new accommodations has been installed in the case if tourists want to stay over or enjoy a weekend. Island gives more of a look of resort which is equipped with everything which someone may need to relax. If someone plans a trip to this place then they can easily reach the site by taking a boat, then after enrolling themselves on the reception they can either have a nice meal with a sea side view in the restaurant or they can take a swim by the beach. Newly constructed foot paths allow people to have a walk and roam around the trees and for those who prefer a vehicle a well carpeted road has been constructed.
Initially
island was in its raw form and had no attractions for the tourists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
recently there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modifications and installations at the said place. By constructing a pier island has
been made
accessible for the tourists via a boat. Along with accessibility, the aesthetics of the site has
also
been addressed
well
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
new accommodations has
been installed
in the case if tourists want to stay over or enjoy a weekend. Island gives more of a look of resort which
is equipped
with everything which someone may need to relax. If someone plans a trip to this place then they can
easily
reach the site by taking a boat, then after enrolling themselves on the reception they can either have a nice meal with a sea side view in the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
restaurant or
they can take a swim by the beach.
Newly
constructed foot paths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a walk and roam around the trees and for those who prefer a vehicle a well carpeted road has
been constructed
.

IELTS essay Initially island was in its raw form and had no attractions for the tourists.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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