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many government think that economic progress is the most important goal some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country discuss and give your opinion

many government think that economic progress is the most important goal some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country discuss and give your opinion 0A69q
These days government’s thinking is more inclined towards economy rather than any other progress. Residents of country believe that focusing on other aspects in spite of economy is certainly beneficial for the country’s future. I would like to discuss pros and cons of both arguments before I jump on to any opinion. Talking about the former argument, keeping the corona virus outbreak in mind; many country is facing economical crisis which leads the people of nation to road or the worse, death. Isn’t it making the obvious reason for government to focus on economy progress? For instant, the past year was hell of a ride for world and many people have lost their job because companies were in lost which directly lead nation poor in economy progress. In short, government thinking more about economy progress is a valid reason. However, on the other side people of nation think that it is necessary to look out for different progress like educational or infrastural in country is more important. As they say sharp brains create more income. Eventually educational progress will lead country to higher economical progress. Moreover, better the infrastructure more visitors will come to country and that will be beneficiary for region to make money. After discussing both argument; I opine, government should laid their eye on other progress in country rather than economy. Other progresses like education and infrastructure are simply a money making scheme for the council moreover; it will make residential of country believe that their government is working for good.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
thinking is more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
rather
than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. Residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
believe that focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is
certainly
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
future. I would like to discuss pros and cons of both arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I jump on to any opinion.

Talking about the former argument, keeping the
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
outbreak in mind;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is facing
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
crisis which leads the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of nation to road or the worse, death. Isn’t it making the obvious reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
? For instant, the past year was hell of a ride for world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have lost their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were in lost which
directly
lead nation poor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
thinking more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is a valid reason.

However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is necessary to look out for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
like educational or
Possible spelling mistake found.
infrastural
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they say sharp brains create more income.
Eventually
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
will lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to higher
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
.
Moreover
, better the infrastructure more visitors will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and that will be beneficiary for region to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.

After discussing both argument; I opine,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "lay"
laid
their eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
like education and infrastructure are
simply
a money making scheme for the council
moreover
; it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
residential of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is working for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay many government think that economic progress is the most important goal some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country discuss and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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